Supernatural Death Note

Chapter Seventy-One: Dean's Truths

Dean got up, grabbed a pair of sweats and put them on, took off the robe, and walked out barefooted...stopped, turned and asked, "Why are we waiting til now to deal with this?" He turned and headed to the elevators.

Watari nodded, taking Sam to a private location to work on this issue.

The hunter did not want to bump into Bobby or the boys on the third floor, but he knew there were cameras everywhere. He was pretty sure that with the knowledge of what was coming, that L had the cameras in his room on. It irritated. All of it irritated and for once, Dean was angry. The indoor garden is where Near most likely was. He took the floor to the library. He exited the elevator and took in the quiet of the floor. He stood there. "L, you here by any chance? No? Well I am." He found a comfortable chair in an alcove.. and waited."

The dark haired male padded in a short while later, handing Dean a cup of tea before sitting down. The hunter took the tea, grateful for it, and took a sip. He said nothing, but his green eyes kept an alert look on the detective. L knew he was dealing with an entirely different Dean Winchester. This one was more of the man he should always have been. He would wait L out.

"You are having some issues you need to discuss?"

"Honestly, I was hoping you'd tell me why I'm having them at all. Why I wasn't warned that I could have them?"

L was quiet for a moment, contemplating the question. "To be honest, I was unsure as to how your brain would react. Some people can go through this and not have the issue."

"It doesn't seem to be real serious stuff, although I'm gonna hurt like hell for a few days. I'm not as coordinated as I need to be. I hope as I work out that it will come. I at least know when and where I am. Would've been nice to know Sam couldn't. Course I understand. I was still too crazy to deal with it, right?"

"You weren't crazy, just dealing with things and had too much to handle."

"It would help me a great deal, L, if someone would just tell me, where in my handling process I was when this total breakdown happened to Sam. Was it one of the rapes, or my dad, my mom, or Azazel and hell. Where was I? What was so bad that I couldn't help my brother?"

"The rapes," he murmured. "You were dealing with that and your father at the same time. You were too far into the process to handle anything more, Dean. I made a call and even now, I feel it was the right thing to do."

Dean was quiet for a while, he sipped the tea, and L watched the shaking hand slowly steady. The green eyes stared up at him, they glistened from unshed tears. He spoke softly, his voice a little hoarse, "Well, you made the right call. If Sammy had been added at that time, I'd have probably tried to end it all. It honestly would not have been the first time I'd contemplated it. The fact that they needed me, it kept me alive. It wasn't really living, but I was here."

He nodded. "Things will balance in time, Dean."

"I realize this, and I can accept it, but there's one thing I can't accept. I won't be lied to, L. I told Sammy, if you have a secret to keep, then tell me you can't talk about it but don't tell me everything is okay. He's been doing that. Tried to say he was okay when I asked. It was bad when Dad lied to me all those times, man. Sam has been lying to me for a long time. Can't do that anymore. Okay? He's got to understand that. I've reached the end of my rope and I'm hanging on by a strand right now. I need to trust him. He's my brother, L. I do not want codependency here, I want trust. I need one damn family member I can believe in."

"Watari will handle that. I'll make sure of it," he promised.

"I also need something from you and Watari, L."