Loving Him (Sam Pottorff/Jarrad Labarrie Fan Fiction)

Chapter 16- Confused

Everything was happening so fast. One moment I was sitting with Sam and talking to him. And the next he's trying to kiss me.

Do I want him to? No! Of course not!! I love Jarrad. But I wasn't sure about my feelings for Sam.

***SAM'S POV***

Our lips were only centimeters away when she put her hands on my chest and pushed me back "Sam don't. You know that I love Jarrad."

"I know that you do, but I love you and I can't stand seeing you with him. I want to be with you. Just give me another chance."

"Look, Sam, I know that it's in the past and it doesn't matter now, but the day that you took me to the mall. It just...broke me. I thought that you really liked me and then you were with Acacia. You seemed like you were having a better time with her in those few minutes that you were talking than you were having with me the whole day. And it doesn't help that she is like 100 times prettier than me. I know that every girl says this, but I don't find myself very pretty. And seeing the way you looked at her made me feel so...so ugly and worthless. I didn't want anyone to know how I felt so I acted like I was fine." She said this while trying to hide the tears in her eyes.

I had no idea how much I hurt her. I just assumed that she was over it. I really screwed up with her. I didn't have a chance to say anything because she stood up and said "I have to go. Kian's probably worried."

And she left. I didn't chase after her because I knew that she was just going to cry even more. I hated seeing her hurt. It broke me.

I know that what I did was incredibly stupid. I'm not even sure why I did it. I know that I don't like Acacia. She was cheating on me. I remembered how I felt when I found out. It hurt me more than anything.

I realized that that was how I made Jessie feel.

I started to cry. How could I make the girl that I love feel this way. And she still feels this way. I'm such an asshole. I feel absolutely horrible. But this isn't about me. It's about her. And trying to get her back.

I have to get her back.

***JESSIE'S POV***

As soon as I got home I went up to my room and started to cry. I lied to Sam. Kian wasn't even home. He was out getting dinner. I tried to stop crying before he got home so he wouldn't know.

Instead of going over to patch things up with Sam, I'm pretty sure that I made it worse. Why do I have to mess everything up??? No matter what it is I always mess it up. Maybe this is why I have no friends.

Who would want to be my friend? I'm stupid, ugly, fat, and just plain awful. I'm always labeled as the depressed girl. Always in the background. Standing in Kian's shadow. Everyone had such high expectations of me and I knew that I couldn't live up to them.

Growing up it was always about Kian. I was always and I mean ALWAYS compared to Kian. "When Kian was your age he was getting straight A's. Why are you getting C's?" my family would often ask that question.

As if bullying at school wasn't enough pain, my family didn't like me either. I was the outcast. The loner. The nobody. The person that disgraced our family name. I couldn't take it anymore. I called Jarrad so maybe he could calm me down.

"Hello?"

"Jarrad I miss you."

"I haven't even left yet."

"I know but I just love you so much."

"Baby what's wrong?"

"I talked to Sam and apologized."

"And?"

"He said that he loved me."

It was silent for a few seconds then Jarrad said something. "And what did you say to that?" he said. I knew that he was mad.

"I said that I'm with you and that I love you."

"Did he try anything?"

"He tried to kiss me, but I stopped him."

"Oh. And then what?"

"I told him why I was with you and not him then left."

"What did you say?"

"That he was a cheater and I loved you more than anything."

"I love you too Jess."

"Jarrad?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you promise me something?"

"Anything."

"If you don't want to be with me or you think that you might want to be with someone else please go to them and tell me first. I just don't want to get hurt. Promise that you won't hurt me."

"I not only promise that I won't hurt you, but I promise that I won't leave you. I love you more than anyone could love any other person."

"I love you to the moon and back."

"Goodnight baby."

"Goodnight."

After I talked to Jarrad I felt better. I got up to get something to drink and Kian walked in the door. He got Taco Bell. Shocker.

We sat down and ate but didn't say anything for a while until he spoke up.

"So...did you and Jarrad have goodbye sex last night?"

"KIAN?!?!?! OH MY GOD!!!!!"

"I was just trying to make conversation."

"Well can we please not talk about my sex life?!"

"Okay. Let's talk about mine."

"Oh, you mean your nonexistent one?"

"Yeah. That one. Well at least I'm not a virgin."

"Okay. Well. You're my brother and we're talking about sex. So. I'm not hungry anymore. I'm going to bed."

"Are you sure? I'm gonna call Sam and see if he wants to come over and watch some movies."

"I'm positive."

"Hopefully not on the pee stick though!"

"Kian!!!! What is wrong with you!?! Just pretend that you don't know that I'm not a virgin. Okay? Okay. Goodnight."

"Night Jess."

After that, I went to bed. And I dreamt...

About Sam.