A Random Dark Bit of Poetry (Book 1)

Panic Attack

Lost

I look around and i dont recognize

The room i've slept in for years

I can barely see through the tears

Alone

I cant feel you anymore

Where did your strength and comfort go?

Now im all alone

Scared

Eating me away

Anxiety, claustrophobia, its too hot in here

I cant stand this fear!

I want to sing

I want to be free

I want the words

to ring with finality!

Why is this happening to me!

A silent scream, a terrible dream

Why wont it go away

I cant take this!

A mantra in my head

Wishing i was dead

Otherwise wanting to sing

Instead layers and layers of fresh cuts sting!

Its like word vomit on the page

My entire body shaking with rage

Or is it insecurities

Too many too many too many things it could be!

I want to sing

I want to be free

I want the words

to ring with finality!

Im my head a dark voice whispers

that i could make this all go away

If only i'd take out the blade

And give in to the pain.

Instead i try to hold on,

I want to be strong

But I CANT TAKE THIS!

I want you to know what its like

To have this weight crushing my back!

This horrible terrible frightening Panic Attack!

Take these lyrics and these lines

String myself up and

maybe you'll find

Inspiration for another song another song another song!

I want to sing

I want to be free

I want the words

to ring with finality!

The most broken thing ive ever written

My words are almost omitted

Considering just erasing it all

These words, this heartbeat

Never meant to be seen on a screen.

Tears streaked, mind freaked

Cant i be okay