A Random Dark Bit of Poetry (Book 1)

Its Still Not Poetic

But then suddenly

Right when it seems like

Its going to get better

Its all okay

The world around me crashes.

Again

And again

Over and over.

It never ends.

Suddenly its like you don't care

Anymore, did you ever?

It leaves me wondering

I want to ask you

But im held back

Because what if

What if you do care

And im just being insecure

Stupid and a bitch.

Yeah, thats me.

Though it wouldn't be a surprise,

Because everything now

Is about me

Me, and how I feel.

And im sorry for

Doing that to you.

Im sorry for

Not being able to

find the courage to ask

How you are doing

If you need to be reminded

That I love you.

And I'm sorry

That this apology wont reach you

Unless i tell you to read it.

But that only furthers

My suspicion

That no one cares...

Ive told you that I write things

And that the things I write

Come from my heart,

But no one reads it.

So no one cares.

Do you see now, my reasoning?

Im trying to ask

But the words are stuck

In my throat and my mind.

Another apology wont help

But i am indeed

Very sorry

That i am not enough

And i never will be.

Please know that

If something is wrong

And you need to let it out

You can tell me.

I will drop everything

And be there for you

Because i know

That one day

I will expect

The same from you.

I can't trust

Anyone around me.

And i want to run to you,

Hide in your arms

Ignore everyone and their demands.

But I can't and

It hurts,

Almost more than it should.

As we talk of all the things

That are bothering us

Putting "xD" and "=^.^="

At the ends to show that

"Haha, lets pretend this is funny"

But it is not

We are not laughing

All I want to do i already mentioned

So please

Just make the chains break

My will can't change the world

But maybe yours can.

I believe in you

Even when I doubt,

It is because i hate me, never you.

I can't expand my horizons

When i am contracting into

Myself and the darkness

That rules my thoughts.

I tried to make this

Pretty and embellished,

But it didn't work.

All I have to give

Is broken and tasteless.

So once again

Im sorry

Please forgive me

And remember

I love you.