A Random Dark Bit of Poetry (Book 1)

This Is Not Poetic

Have you ever been

So weighed down

By the sadness

The pain

The hurt

The unshed tears

That you cant even

Properly write the simplest

Poem, or rhyme two words

So tragically, it could be

So instead of comparing

My misery to the sea

And instead of eating

The bowl of cereal offered to me

I will curl up around

My purple blanket

And let a total of 5,

5 tears fall down my face

Before sitting up

Reminding myself that

I do not deserve to cry

I do not deserve to smile

I do not deserve to be okay

Because I suck

And you are so beautiful,

wonderful, i love you

Even when I am hating myself

Hating the world for all it's done

You still love me

I wish you were here to

Remind me that its okay to cry

To eat

Taking a bite will not

Kill me

Even though thats what

It feels like

I never thought that

To love should hurt

And it shouldn't

But it does

As the acid

Of caramelized carbon

Washes down my throat

With the horrible thoughts

That run in my blood

Straight to my heart

I will remember that

Even though I am alone

And broken

Lost

Scared

Wanting to give up

I am loved

By someone

Somewhere

Somehow

This is not romantic

Or good

Or poetic

Or beautiful

To be dragged 6 feet under

By the chains that I created

On my own

It is horrible, sad and scary

It is the nightmare that

Never ends

At least, it hasn't yet.