Seduced ➢ Kylo Ren

fifteen; first hope

You're still on Kylo's bed, curled up into a ball on his black satin sheets. The pain radiating from your lower back has started to fade, but it still hurts, still somehow binding you to the mattress.

Kylo has been gone for a long while. His warning keeps repeating itself in your mind; "You better not be here when I come back."

What hurts most isn't the pain from where your back hit the metal bed frame when Kylo used the Force and shot you flying backwards. What hurts most is the fact that he left you alone, even after he saw you cry. At least, that's what you're trying to convince yourself hurts most.

A choked cry forces itself up your throat as you feel fresh tears start to form at the brim of your eyes. The truth is, what hurts most is the fact that Kylo doesn't seem to care about you. Admitting this to yourself makes you feel like a little, immature girl. You're not here to be cared about and to care for other people. You're here to train. To learn how to control the dark energy that flows all around you. To fight. And if need be, to kill without mercy.

But somewhere along the line, you don't know exactly where, or how, or why, you started caring too much for Kylo. You had seen the human side of him a few times, when he let his guard down. You knew he was messed up and broken- and if you're being completely honest with yourself, it attracts you more.

It's ironic, you think to yourself, that I keep calling him messed up when I'm just as messed up as he is for liking him.

You remember the first time you had seen him without the helmet. The physical attraction you had felt for him had been clouded by intense fear of not knowing anything about him yet. You never allowed yourself to think about him in any another way except him being your mentor, your trainer.

You feel so pathetic, so stupid and small. How could you have let your emotions get the better of you?

You slowly sit up, clenching your jaw in an effort to stop yourself from crying out. "Maybe I don't even like him in that way," you whisper to yourself, wincing as you rub your lower back. You start coming up with all the possible reasons why you could be attracted to Kylo- maybe it's because you had been stuck with him for all this time, maybe it's because he's the only one around here who's your age, maybe it's because.. maybe it's because you still, somehow, refuse to believe he's all bad.

Sighing, you stand up, straighten your back and breathe in again. You just want all this- whatever it is- to end.

As you're shuffling towards the door, wiping away the tears from your still-damp cheeks, you hear Kylo's voice. It's distant, a little muffled, yet somehow right there in your mind; "I'm never hurting her again."

You reach out to open the door, confused as ever, and feel it being opened from the other side. Standing outside, his hand still over the door's handle, is Kylo, breathless.

You both stand there, your faces dimly illuminated by the red ceiling lights of the metallic corridor. You feel your heartbeat start to pick up with the anticipation of whatever it is that's about to happen next.

He looks exhausted and overwhelmed, and for once you see him as Ben- someone your age, not this big authority figure, not this merciless being who has to be feared. A guy who took on way more than he thought he could handle. His jet black hair is all dishevelled, like he has been running his fingers through it.

"Look," you start, just at the same time he was about to break the silence. "I'm leaving now. You don't have to make me," you add in a defeated manner.

"No, listen," he says hurriedly, and hesitates for a quick second before coming inside the room, grabbing you by the arm as he closes the door.