Seduced ➢ Kylo Ren

twenty-seven; night horrors

The first thing you feel when you come to your senses is the weight of Kylo's head on your chest. He hadn't moved an inch all night. You're aware of the slow rise and fall of his chest. His arm is loosely draped over your torso, his fingertips brushing against the bare skin on your waist.

He's holding onto you like a toddler would hold onto his mother during a much needed nap after preschool. He needs that comfort, that wholesomeness. 

His breathing is so calm, so steady; his heartbeat is slow, relaxed. You slowly ruffle his raven-black hair, finger-combing it, and very quickly scan through his thoughts; out of sheer concern - you just want to be sure he's peaceful.

In his dream, Kylo is peacefully lying face up on a prickly grass, looking at stars shoot by. You hear him think; wow, this is beautiful.

But not as beautiful as her.

Your face dances in his imagination, and you retract your hand away from his head and stop probing his mind, a smile stretched from ear to ear. You don't want to invade his privacy anymore.

Is this what love is? You've never known love. You don't know if you've experienced it before the First Order brought you upon the ship. You were so young. You have no memory of the time before.

But this is what love must be. The feeling you get when you're around Kylo - butterflies at first, but then calmness, peace, tranquility. You can feel your heartbeat slow down when you're around him - on the few occasions where he's not trying to teach you a lesson - your mind is at rest, and your thoughts are never clouded. You want to talk to him about anything and everything - in fact, even now, you want him to wake up, to talk to him, to intertwine his fingers with yours.

You want to learn every little detail about him. You want to make him love himself again. To forgive himself for all the things which you know still hang heavy in his heart.

You're lost in your own thoughts but then you feel a change in his heartbeat; the steady, slow pulse stops for a fragment of a second, and then starts racing; faster and faster, until Kylo gasps and sits up in bed, gets out of bed and looks around, confused, alert- looking for his lightsaber. He mentally calls for it, and within seconds, it's in his hand, ignited, and he swings it in front of him, in an attacking position, his eyes wide.

He hasn't come to the conclusion of where he is yet, still disorientated. You quickly sit up on your bed, sit on your knees, and quietly whisper his name. You're anticipating him attacking you, so you just want to keep him calm. No sudden movements, no loud calls.

His body jolts in your direction, his eyes aren't focused - he's pointing the lightsaber at you.

"Kylo, it's me, you had a bad dream I-I think," you reach out to him, even though you're scared he won't come to his senses and slice right through you with his lightsaber.

His eyes still aren't focusing on you, it's like he's still stuck in whatever dream he was having. Your mouth is dry; the air is getting stuck in your throat.

What if he doesn't manage to snap out of it?

"Kylo, it's me," you try again.

The grip on his lightsaber tightens; it hisses menacingly, the pulsating red glow illuminates the dark room. The starship is on the move again, somewhere far away from anything remotely close to a sun; it's weird going to sleep in the darkness and waking up in the darkness.

The small beads of sweat on his forehead catch the lightsaber's light, red reflections shading his forehead. And then you see a single tear roll down his cheek.