Seduced ➢ Kylo Ren

twenty-four; pain

How do you build a connection so strong; a connection that has the ability to reach someone who may possibly be millions of miles away?

How can you build such a connection when you have never even been taught how?

How do you focus all your energy, all your thoughts, into even beginning to think about such a thing when you're heartbroken, when you're aching, when you're anything but strong?

How could Anakin even expect you to take on such a task when he knows that your entire mind, your entire body, your entire being is aching?

How can you face the challenge with the knowledge that if you fail, your significant other may be gone forever? With the knowledge that it will be your fault?

The fact that there is a possible chance of losing Kylo; is a fact that you cannot for one second stop thinking about. It courses through your veins; it's the cells in your blood. It inhabits your lungs; you inhale fear, exhale anxiety. It ricochets off the walls of your brain; it demands to be the only thing focused upon.

You have been pacing back and forth in your room for the better part of the day. Your mind is weak; your passions are overwhelming, they refuse to give you time to focus on reaching Kylo.

What if he dies?

What if I lose him?

What if I never see him again?

What if he's already dead?

It will be fault.

It is my fault.

I should have made him stay.

I should not have fallen asleep.

Why did Anakin entrust me with this?

The questions are never-ending. Like figments of the imagination, they pop up one after the other; until your mind is consumed by them.

"ENOUGH!" you scream to your empty room. "I can't take it anymore!" You fall to your knees, sobbing loudly. You wish you could pull the thoughts out of your head; the pain, the pressure. It's too much.

"Anakin, are you listening? Tell me what I can do!" 

The lump in your throat is restricting, you can't breathe well.

 "I can't do it, I miss him, I want him back."

You bang your fists against the floor, a combination of anger and defeat. The sharp pain on your knuckles is nothing compared to the pain stemming from your heart. Your body feels numb - no amount of physical pain will ever come to close to the mental anguish. 

Kylo is the one person you had ever felt close to. The closest thing you had ever had to a friend. And now, that it seemed to progress into something more, to finally allow you to feel like a real human being; now, his absence stung more and more.

The cries erupting from your chest subside to a quiet whimper.

"Think, Luna, think," you tell yourself.

 You wipe away the tears that seem as if they'll never stop falling and place your palms flat against your damp cheeks.

Somehow, your mind drifts to the last thing Anakin told you: "May the Force be with you."

"The Force.." You whisper, your eyes now closed. 

The Force will give you strength.

You take a deep breath, inhaling through your nose as you relax the muscles in your body. You feel yourself drawing energy from every living thing close to you. You feed on the raw energy radiating from Darth Vader's mask in Kylo's chambers.

You feel Anakin's presence, and, sure enough, when you open your eyes to check if he's there, his Force-ghost is standing near the door. He smiles at you; an encouraging smile which fills you with even more strength and hope, before his figure fades away, leaving you alone once again.

His brief appearance is all you had needed.

You close your eyes again.

The room vanishes. You're sitting cross-legged in a pitch black realm, no beginning and no end; eternity is seemingly stretched out in front of you.

The darkness doesn't scare you.

You call out his name.

"Kylo."

No response.

You stay calm, breathe in again. You call out to him again; this time with your heart and soul, your feelings all congealed into one single call.

It's faint.

But you hear it.

A heartbeat- a slowed heartbeat, a heart which is fighting against the odds to circulate blood and keep its body alive.

It's close to death.

But it is there, you can hear it.

And suddenly, you feel the connection, tugging at your naval area. It's crystal clear.

You can hear the pained breaths,
the whimpers,
the shivers.

You can feel the physical pain,
the blood gushing out,
the fingers pressed on the wound.

You can feel the fear,
the adrenaline,
the regret.

"Kylo!" you hear yourself shout. "Come back, please come back."

You feel the frail heart beat start to beat harder.

"I miss you. It's impossible without you."

It's the last sentence you manage to utter before the connection is lost. You're jerked back into your room; the cold air shocking you back into reality.

Exhausted, the burden of bringing him back weigh down harder than ever, you hide away under your bedsheets and weep until sleep is kind enough to welcome you in its arms.

☩

Your voice to him means one thing; the reason to stay to alive.