Between a Rock and a Hard Place // c.h.

9 - How Far is First Base?

   Calum's room was five doors down from Michaels. He slid his key-card, opened the door, and held it as I walked through. I don't know what I'd expected to see in Calum's hotel room, but it didn't look like anything I'd imagined. My eyes studied the room, scanning the details. A pair of underwear, presumably dirty, were slung over a chair in the corner of the room. The bed was sloppily made, probably done in a rush. The garbage held a pizza box that barely fit. Suddenly I heard Cal's breathing and remembered why we were there.

   "Where would the controllers be?" I turned to face him, but then I noticed the playful, yearning smile on his face. "You don't have controllers do you?" I chuckled. I walked up to Calum and grabbed his hand. "Why'd you bring me here Cal?" I asked, innocently biting my lip. He smirked, pushing me towards the wall softly.

   "Because you're fucking beautiful Cara." His hands went to my waist, mine went to his shoulders. "And I can't show you how beautiful you are in front of the boys." His eyes looked into mine, then moved downward, scanning my entire body. Suddenly he pulled me towards him, our lips crashing together perfectly. They worked in unison, complimenting one another perfectly. He bit my lip, causing me to involuntarily moan. Calum kissed me rougher, faster, more passionately. Suddenly his kisses moved down, to my neck. Everywhere his lips touched burned like fire. I liked it. He sucked on my neck, turning me on in a thousand different ways. I knew it'd leave a mark, but I could cover it. Then he drifted back up so our lips were meeting once again. The kiss felt magical, his tongue dominated mine, allowing him to take control of the entire thing. I didn't mind though. Without warning he lifted me, and I wrapped my legs around his torso. He pushed me up against the wall harder, holding me as I straddled him. One of his hands found its way to my hair and tangled itself in it, pulling me closer to him. I ran my hands through his hair, then got an idea. I continued to hold his head with one hand, moving the other down. I found the hem of Calum's shirt and grabbed it forcefully. He seemed to understand. He wrapped his arms around me and carried me to his bed, setting me on the linen sheets as he undressed himself down to his boxers. I shuffled out of my clothes at the same time. Soon we were both there, in nothing but our underclothes, when I remembered my scars. I grabbed the sheets and tried to cover them up, but Calum didn't even notice. He started kissing me again, softer this time, more lovingly. As we kissed one of his hands found its way down to my panties, pawing me through them. I arched my back and moaned. "That's so hot.." Calum moaned, I could see his hard bulging in his boxers. I reached down for it and held it in my hand, I'd never done anything like that before, so I stroked it up and down, hoping I was doing it right. The look on Calum's face said it all. His hand grabbed my panties violently, pulling them off and throwing them to the side. He grabbed his boxers and ripped them off, exposing him in his full glory. 'Holy shit.' He bit his lip and grabbed my shoulders, pulling me in so that we were kissing again. One of his hands touched me, swirling around in gentle circles that drove me crazy. I moaned quietly, biting his lip. His thumb continued to trace circles while his other fingers moved to my entrance. I'd never gone this far before. He put them in, rubbing me at the same time. I threw my body back. A loud moan escaped from my lips.

   "Calum it feels so good." I whimpered. His fingers moved faster, causing the feeling to intensify. The pleasure grew until I felt like I would explode. I reached climax, spilling onto his sheets and his hand. He smirked and looked at me. I immediately went to return the favor. My hand grabbed his length, and I stroked it at varying speeds. Using my thumb, I played with the tip while my other hand moved up and down. Calum's head was thrown back, his moans filled the room. "Jesus Christ you're so hot." I growled. Calum whimpered.

   "Baby... Baby I'm close." His words sounded strangled. I forced my hands to move faster. Calum's entire body arched when he hit his climax. I didn't worry about the mess, I just wiped it onto the already ruined sheets and smiled at Calum. He handed me my panties and out his boxers on. Then we laid on the bed, relaxing into each other. I felt his heartbeat in my ear, and it comforted me in a way I couldn't describe. I loved Calum Hood. I couldn't tell him that I did, but I did nonetheless. We held hands, his thumb tracing circles on mine. Finally I said something.

   "I promised my mother I'd never go farther than first base before marriage. Does that mean I'm a liar?" I joked, smiling into Cal's chest. He felt so warm, I just wanted to be closer to him.

   He sat in silence for a moment, pondering the question. He took a deep breath and responded. "That all depends." I looked at him with an expression of confusion. "How far is first base?" He laughed, causing his chest to move. I didn't want this moment to end. Calum made me so happy, but I knew it had to end eventually. As my mother had once said: even the best of moments comes to an end, that's what makes them the best.

   Calum and I stood, putting on our clothes. He smiled at me, he looked very at ease and relaxed. I smiled back, feeling the same. I had always expected myself to wait until marriage to have an intimate relationship with someone, but Calum made me think differently. I knew I wasn't making a mistake, because I knew I loved Calum. I loved him differently than I had before. Before, my love for him had been for who the press presented him as. I had loved him as a fangirl loves a band member, nothing more. Now, my love for him was actually for him. I loved him for the little details I'd never known of before. I loved the way he looked me in the eyes when he talked to me, I loved the way he smiled, laughed, thought, acted, was. I loved Calum Hood. I loved him more than I'd ever loved anyone, including myself. Not that I could let him know. 'There's no way he'd feel that strongly back.' I reminded myself. That was my reasoning for hiding my feelings. I didn't want to lose him, and freaking him out with a commitment as strong as love would definitely help me lose him. So I pursed my lips, put on my t-shirt, and walked with him back to Michaels room like nothing had happened. As we walked his fingers traced the bruise on my neck. 'Shit.' I put my hand up to examine it, and our fingers touched. I felt like a wave of electricity coursed through my entire body. Calum smiled at me, "well, at least they won't ask what we were doing." He chuckled, putting his arm around me. We walked into Michael's room together, my heart beating out of my chest.