Between a Rock and a Hard Place // c.h.

25 - Last Time

I ignored Luke for the remainder of the tour. Any conversation that me and him had was short, but I tried to avoid speaking to him altogether. I was scared about the dream I'd had, and about what it meant. Was I developing feelings for Luke? I wouldn't let myself. I was in love with Calum, and I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize it. Feelings of guilt plagued me. Luke hadn't done anything wrong, he'd been a good friend in the last weeks, but I wasn't sure I could trust myself. Two days passed after the dream, and I was beginning to think I was becoming stable again, that I might be able to trust myself. Still, I found it easier to avoid Luke than risk tempting fate.

I went backstage to be with Calum after the boys' last concert. The boys sat in a dressing room, using hair dryers to dry themselves in places I don't care to mention. Mikey and Ashton fought over the hair dryer, shirtless and sweaty as I'd ever seen them. Luke, who was also shirtless, was sprawled on the floor, spreading himself out. Calum sat in a love seat, wearing his jeans but not his shirt. He had covered his body in ice packs to try to cool down. His hair, which was usually loose and light, was stuck to his forehead. He looked exhausted, but beamed happily when he saw me. "Hey babe," he spoke loudly, probably still hearing the ringing of the crowd in his ears. "What'd ya think?" He smirked, knowing that even after I'd survived through multiple 5SOS concerts, they still excited and energized me. I walked over to him, planting a firm kiss on his cheek.

"I loved it, you guys did amazing." I smiled, sitting in the love seat next to Cal. His arm wrapped around my neck, radiating heat even though an ice pack had been on it less than thirty seconds before. "You're burning up Cal." I commented, looking at him. "Are you ok?" He laughed when I asked the question.

   "It's always gets hot on stage. But tonight was especially bad because the show was longer." He smiled, kissing my forehead. "I'm glad you liked it though, it means a lot to me." I gave him a peck on the lips, earning disgusted groans from Ashton and Mikey in response. I laughed it off, knowing they didn't mind it as much as they pretended to. Over the past weeks I'd gotten to be really good friends with all the boys, and pushing myself farther from Luke had caused me to be closer with Ashton and Mikey. I looked at them mischievously, then pulled Calum in for a longer kiss. They exaggerated their groans even more, cracking up halfway through.

"I loved this tour and all, but I'm honestly glad we're getting a little break." Ashton sighed, sitting down on the couch across from me and Cal. "I'm excited for the vacation we've been planning." He smiled, knowing that in less than a month, he'd be relaxing on a beach somewhere, sun in his eyes and sand in his shoes.

"I was thinking Hawaii, or New Zealand." Michael said, half-seriously. "I'm sure our half-Kiwi friend would like that." He winked obnoxiously at Cal, who rolled his eyes and ignored the comment. "But seriously. Hawaii sounds fucking great." Michael finished, clearly sad his joke hadn't offended Calum as much as he'd wanted.

   "What do you guys think about Hawaii?" Ashton asked, looking at me and Cal. "I think it sounds fun, it'd be a huge change in scenery too, which would be good." He said, biting his lip as if he were thinking about something. "I wanna ask Mads to come too." He blurted out, blushing. I looked at him, a feeling of horror creeping into my stomach. I hadn't told anyone besides Luke about my fight with my friends, I couldn't imagine vacationing with one of them. Still, I nodded, playing along with the lie I'd told.

   "Sounds awesome." Cal smiled, pulling me close to him. "Let's do it."

   Just like that, the topic of conversation changed. The boys moved on, talking over every subject in the book. After a short time, we picked up and went back to the hotel. It was the last night we'd be staying there. The next day, the boys would all go back home, I'd go with Calum to meet the rest of his family. My heart beat out of my chest when I thought about it; I was so nervous. Walking into the hotel room, Cal immediately went to shower. I walked over to our bed, noticing something lying on the messy, crumpled sheets. My head spun when I saw it. Another note.

This is the last time I'm warning you. Get away from Calum. Get away from Luke. Get away from the whole band. I'm giving you a month, then I'm making you pay.

I felt sick reading the words on the paper in front of me. Stress filled me like water, drowning me out. I grabbed the note, crumpling it into a ball. I threw it away, hoping and praying Calum wouldn't find it. 'How did they get in our room?' Horror swallowed me, scaring me and making me feel paranoid.

   "What's wrong?" Calum asked, walking out of the bathroom, his waist covered only by a towel. He came and sat next to me on the bed.

   "Oh... Um.." I thought about telling him, but I didn't want to hurt Luke. Plus I didn't want Calum to be suspicious of me and Luke, so I kept my mouth shut. "I'm just nervous about meeting your family, that's all." I blushed. Cal laughed, putting a reassuring hand against my cheek.

   "They'll love you. Almost as much as I do." He leaned in, kissing me softly. My lips tingled, and I kissed back. For a moment we sat there, in complete silence. I thought about the note and the warning it contained. If I didn't want anyone to get hurt I had to stay away from Calum. But I couldn't do it. I knew myself well enough, and I knew that whatever I did, leaving Calum would be a last resort. We went to sleep quickly that night, the promise of an exciting few months to come echoing in our heads. I put my head on Cal's chest like I'd done so much before in the past weeks, letting myself fall into him.

   "I love you." I whispered, before the dense haze of sleep took me over, dragging me downward.