Between a Rock and a Hard Place // c.h.

21 - Mistake

   I never had imagined myself having sex before I was married. I'd never expected to lose my virginity to Calum Hood either, but there I was, lying in a bed next to him, my heart beating rapidly as I recounted what had just happened. 'Yep. My parents are gonna disown me.' I thought to myself. I knew they would be mad at me for traveling across the world anyway, but knowing that I abandoned their strictest rule would set them over the edge. The crazy thing was, I didn't care that I might never speak to my parents again. Looking at the boy who lied next to me, I felt no regret for my actions. Calum was all I wanted, all I needed in life, so I didn't regret the decision I'd made. Calum's eyes met mine, causing me to blush rapidly. He hand took mine, he kissed it and giggled. For the rest of the day, we laid there in the bed, talking, watching T.V. shows, and cuddling. If someone had asked me what my ideal day would've been, I would've easily answered that day. The day when there was no stress, no drama, just me and Cal together, alone. As the sun began to set, Calum went to shower, and I showered after him. We slipped on underwear, laying on the top of the bed together. His thumb traced soft circles on the back of my hand as he talked.

   "I have an interview with Michael tomorrow." He explained, "so you can hang out with Luke or Ashton if you want. I think Ash is going surfing, but I'm pretty sure Luke's just lounging around." He yawned. "I mean, you can be alone if you want too, I just thought you'd be more comfortable.."

   "Thank you, Cal." I squeezed his hand. "I'll ask Luke if he wants to play video games or something while you're gone." Calum squeezed my hand back, using gentle force.

   "I already talked to him, he's fine with it. I'll only be gone for two or three hours, so it won't be a super long time." He chuckled, slowly relaxing. Drowsiness filled his every word.

   "Ok," I yawned quietly, feeling tired. "I love you." I whispered as I slowly drifted off. Through the haze of sleepiness I heard four words. They stayed with me throughout the night, penetrating my dreams.

   "I love you too."

-

Luke's POV
***

Calum left Cara in my room at ten in the morning. She looked tired, but happy, which was good. It was always good to see her happy. She wore a loose t-shirt and shorts that barely reached above her knee. He hair was pulled up in a sloppy messy bun, which fell just perfectly that it framed her face with ease. "Hi." She smiled, walking over to me. She sat next to me on the edge of my bed, observing the screen in front of us. She smelled amazing, like lavender and jasmine. "What're you playing?" She asked curiously, a level of tenderness to her voice. She looked so different now than she had when I'd found her in her room. Her eyes were back to their bright blue color, and the dark circles were gone. She looked happy, alive. She looked beautiful. I shook my head. I couldn't afford to think like that, not when Calum was so in love with her. Despite any feelings I may have had, she belonged to him, and him to her.

"Call of Duty." I said, my voice monotone. She looked excitedly at the screen.

"Can I play?" Her voice was full of upbeat energy. I handed her a controller and set up a profile for her. For a while, we just played video games, thoughts of what I wanted to say to her echoing in my head. I couldn't say any of it, not without hurting her or Calum or someone else. So I played in silence.

I hadn't meant to fall for Cara. It had never been my plan. At the meet-and-greet I had wanted to ask her for her number, but I got too nervous. When me and the boys had returned to our hotel, Cal had told us about what he did with Cara. It had hurt me, but I hid it, acted excited for Cal, and listened to him talk about her. They went on their date, I sat back. When us and her friends had gotten together, it was all I could do to remain silent. Seeing the bruise Cal had given her, I knew I had no hope. The more time passed, the more I thought I was over her. But when her and Calum had broken up, I was concerned. I tried calling her to ask about it, to try to help. She didn't answer. Me and the other boys called her multiple times a day. After a week of trying, a horrible fear set in. 'What if she's hurt herself?' The thought had repeated in my head more than once a day. And Cal was in a worse position. He moped around at all hours, smoking every two hours, and he stopped being... Calum. I'd been to Cara's house once before, when I drove her home. I knew I had to get her. If not for me, for Calum. We both needed to know she was ok. After I'd gotten her it was hard for me. I knew I was in love with her. But I wasn't allowed to be. So I hid my feelings. Now, here she sat. Her fingers clicking over the controller with agility and speed. She was so close, so perfect, but so far away. She was unattainable, because she was already in love.

"So.." She paused the game, her big blue eyes looking at me. I had seen blue eyes plenty of times before, I had blue eyes, but hers were special. Her eyes contained the sky, the ocean, they were so big and bright but so innocent. "When we were driving to the airport and you asked me about Cal," she continued, "you said there was nothing you could do. What did you mean?" I gulped, I had assumed she didn't hear me when I uttered those words.

"Nothing." I shrugged. "I just wish that someone would love me the way you love Cal. But it's not gonna happen." I spoke coldly, I hated hiding my feelings. I absolutely hated it.

"Oh Luke..." She gasped. "Someone will, I guarantee it. There's so much to love about you." A warm smile crossed her face, her hand touched mine comfortingly. White-hot fire raced through my body from where she touched me. I don't know why I leaned in, but I did. Cara went into complete shock, she didn't have time to react before I kissed her. My lips met hers, igniting a fire in my heart. My hands shook and my heart sped up. Cara pulled back almost immediately, but the touch resonated on my lips, fluttering through me like electricity. A look of shock and dismay appeared on Cara's face. Her hand reached up over her mouth. Sudden reality smacked me upside the head. What had I just done?

"Oh my god! Cara I'm so sorry!" I apologized. "I'm such a fucking idiot." I stood up, tossing my controller onto the ground. I was so mad at myself. Cara looked at me, an odd mixture of horror and curiosity in her eyes.

"It's ok, Luke." She tried to reassure me. "You got caught up in the moment. I know you didn't mean it." She gasped. "I won't tell Calum if you don't." She said. She was clearly scared that he was going to be mad at her. But he wouldn't. Cal would forgive Cara, as she had done nothing wrong, me, however... I nodded, blushing madly. I bit my lip ring, a nervous tick of mine. "I'm gonna go, I'll tell Cal I got sick." She stood and walked out of room.

I sat on the floor regretting the decision, knowing I'd just fucked everything up.