Between a Rock and a Hard Place // c.h.

36 - Wildfires

   One way to learn lessons is by experiencing them. I'd heard hangovers were the worst feelings in the world, but I hadn't expected it to be as bad as it was. I woke up with an audible throbbing in my head. Before I even opened my eyes the headache was enough to make me sick. I peeled my eyelids open, only to squeeze them shut immediately after light made contact with them. Even the dim light of the hotel room made me tear up and sent a stabbing pain into my already throbbing skull. I rolled out of the bed in the foreign hotel, squinting through my eyes and feeling the walls to find my way to a bathroom in the hotel room. I fumbled my way into the cool room, enjoying the feeling of cold tile against my burning hot skin. As soon as I reached the toilet in the bathroom I doubled over, heaving heavily. I vomited everything I had into the toilet bowl, fueling the stinging in my head and creating a stinging in my throat. After I couldn't throw up anything else, I dropped weakly to the floor, collapsing weakly against the cold floor. I could feel the heat radiating off of my skin into the ground below me. I fell asleep on the ground.

-

   After I woke up, I managed to stumble back to the bed. When I noticed the person who was sitting on the end of the bed, his blonde hair clenched in his hands, biting his lip ring as he always did. A deep sickness returned to my stomach, a feeling of guilt and horror. Luke's eyes darted to mine, he looked sick and scared.

   "Cara." He stood slowly, making his way over to me. "I'm so sorry." He scratched the back of his neck, looking at me regretfully. A sadness took hold of me. Had he been lying when he'd said he loved me? Had he lied to get sex? "But," he continued, his eyes hardening as he looked at me, "I meant what I said last night. About being in love with you. And I hope to god you meant it when you said it?" He asked, hopefulness in his tone.

   I looked at him, at his messy blonde hair swept across his face and his beautiful blue eyes that reminded me of diamonds. I did love Luke. But I loved Calum. I nodded, unable to say exactly how I felt. Luke was inches away from me, and our lips made contact. This time when I kissed Luke, I was sober, and I knew what I was doing. His lips touched mine softly, and I thought about pulling away, but the feeling in my lips held me longer. I forced myself to step away from the kiss, looking at Luke, scared and horrified.

   "Luke. What are we going to do?" I panicked, worry rushing through my veins. "Calum's gonna kill you and I'm gonna lose him." Luke grabbed my hand, looking me in the eye.

   His demeanor was completely calm, which helped calm me down as well. "It already happened. We can't afford to panic now." A warm tear streamed down my cheek. What had I done? I was caught between two people, and I loved both of them. "It'll be ok." Luke promised, pulling my half-clothed body to his. He held me until the tears stopped, which wasn't long.

-

Calum's POV
***

   Cara hadn't answered any of my phone calls, and though I was worried, I assumed she had a good reason. I tried calling her three times, but she didn't answer. 'It's probably because I ignored her yesterday.' I thought to myself, understanding how she must have felt. In a day I'd be back to her, I could hold her again. I checked my clock, it was noon, and I was meeting Ashton for lunch at twelve-thirty. As I was about to put my phone back into my pocket, it buzzed, a random number had texted me. I opened the message, what I saw causing my heart to drop.

   My knees buckled involuntarily, causing me to fall to the floor. Anger, betrayal, desperation, denial, and depression all rushed through me, making me sick. I was weak enough that standing seemed nearly impossible, and my head spun at a million miles an hour. 'That's not real.' I told myself, repeating the phrase in my head over and over. Under the pictures was a typed message, which only made the situation more sickening and terrifying.

   I warned her to leave you alone. I guess this was her solution.
    ~Danny

   Seeing his name made me feel nauseous, seeing the pictures that accompanied it made the feeling ten times worse. I threw my phone, which cracked when it smacked into contact with the wall of my temporary hotel room. Standing, I barely made it to the wall before I slumped back down to the ground again. My knees snapped in half as I fell down the wall. I placed my head in my hands, grabbing my hair firmly in between my fingers, pulling my hair roughly. A horrific sob tore it's way or of my throat, hot tears falling from my eyes. My head pounded and I wished that the feeling I had in my chest would leave.

   "Fuck!" I screamed, my lungs burning like a wildfire had filled them, choking me out, preventing me from getting oxygen. My world came cascading down around me, crashing and breaking more with every passing breath I managed to heave in. My entire body felt numb apart from the stinging and burning in my chest and lungs.

   On my broken phone screen were pictures of the girl I loved, who had said she loved me, and one of my best friends. Cara and Luke had had sex.