Broken {Completed}

Unforgivable

I tried my best to avoid Gunnar, and so far it was working. I didn't want to talk to him I didn't want to deal with pain and heart ache. I was trying to move on. I found a decent girlfriend that was a lot like me.

We were together for a few days now, and things were as good as they were going to get.

"Feo, are you okay? You seem distracted." Anna grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

"I'm fine," I said with the biggest smile I could muster. As we walked to the cafeteria. I looked around, and there was no sign of Gunnar. Good.

Anna and I took our usual table away from everyone else. "So prom is coming up soon, and I was thinking we could were similar dresses. I saw this really pretty ocean blue dress that I think would look great on you, and there was a similar one in a peach color for me."

I shrugged. "I was thinking of skipping prom," I said peeling my orange.

"Why? This is your senior prom!"

"I know, but you know I'm not a people person. I would just be awkward there."

"You don't have to be a people person, Feo. It'll be you and me and no one else."

"I don't know. I'll do anything but go there. I'll get us a hotel room, we can watch movies, play games, and other things," I said the last three words as seductively as I could, but Anna didn't budge.

"I want to go to prom, and then we can do all that stuff, but if you don't want to take me to prom then I'll find someone else that will.

I sighed in defeat. "Fine." I'll just have to find a way to make myself deathly sick the day before prom. We remained quiet after that as we ate our lunch.

"Feo," Anna said nodding to someone behind me. I turned around to see Gunnar there with an envelope in his hand.

It looked like he was thinking as he tucked the envelope in his back pocket. "Can we talk?" He asked looking from me to Anna.

"I'd rather not," I said standing to throw my trash away.

"Feo please. You've been avoiding me for weeks now, and I really think it's time we talk."

"I don't want to talk to you." I turned to Anna. "Come to the art room with me?"

She hesitated on her response looking between Gunnar and I. "I actually need to talk to my Spanish teacher about retaking a quiz." And with that she stood and left.

"Feo-"

"No Gunnar! I'm not talking to you."

"Why? What did I do?"

"You made me see the truth. I don't even know why I thought that you and I could be friends." Tears were threatening to fall, but I forced them back.

"I don't-"

"I wasn't finished. Do you want to know why we can't be friends? Because you'll always be one of them!" I pointed to the table where all of the popular students sat. "We come from two different worlds that quite frankly, should never cross, because all it does is lead to pain and suffering. I'm moving on. You should too."

"Why are trying to find excuses to push me away!"

"I want my old life back! The one were you weren't in it! Some times I wish you had just died in that coma." The moment the words left my mouth I felt horrible. "Gunnar-"

He stepped back from me the moment I reached out to him. He was visibly hurting, and his lips began to quiver. He pulled the envelope from his pocket and placed it on the table before leaving.

Tears fell down my face as I saw my name written neatly on the paper. I took it and placed it inside my bag. People were staring at me, and I couldn't take it. I left the cafeteria and decided to skip the rest of school. I walked home. I was complete bitch to him.

The words kept playing over and over in my head, and the look on his face every time I saw it, it killed me. I didn't mean to hurt him like that. At this point I was no better than Moxxi.

But she would never scar someone like you just did, the voice at the back of my head taunted. I wish I could rewind time and stop those words from leaving my mouth. No doubt he hated me now, but I would get my old life back now. One that I honestly didn't want back, but I was afraid. Falling in love with a boy scared me.

I grew up where the women in my family were abused and beaten by men, so I was terrified to love one. Why did I let that get in the way? All he wanted was to be friends, but that wasn't what I wanted, and I think that's the part that scared me the most.

When I got home went to my bedroom and locked myself in it. I threw my bag to the floor and watched its contents spill out, and in the mist of it all was the envelope. I took it and opened it. There was a card inside that said "I'm sorry".

It read:
Dear Feo,
I want you to know that what happened the night I woke up in the hospital wasn't what you think. I told Moxxi that I wasn't going to go back to her. I wish you would talk to me to let me explain that in person, but you're trying so hard to avoid me, I guess it is best that I give you some space.

I want you to know that since the charity ball, all I can think about is you. You looked so stunning that night, and time and time again I hate myself for not kissing you when we danced to "A Thousand Years". I wanted to so badly, but I thought I'd be rushing things.

My mom told me that you spent almost every day with once you found out, and because of that I hold some hope in my heart that you feel the same way I do even a little. I love you. I know it's strange to say to you because you like women, but I do.

I love you, and I don't know how else to deal with this situation, but I hope you understand.
~Gunnar

My heart tore. I ruined everything.