Cold-Hearted

Thirteen

Thirteen

Gelamine Keizel Arandela

Every night. Every time. Wala ni isang segundo sa bawat araw-araw na hindi ko siya naaalala, naiisip, nakakalimutan. It seems like his name is forever etched with mine. Bilib nga ako na nakakaya pa ng katawan ko na maglabas ng mga luha.

I'm always asking myself why, why didn't I move on yet? Why did I let myself be stuck in this situation? Bakit hanggang ngayon siya pa rin? Alam ko naman, ang rami pang ibang lalaki diyan, pero hindi ko naman kasalanan kung ayaw mismo ng puso ko napalitan siya.

At ngayon nakatulala ako habang tinatanaw ang syudad. I'm still contemplating kung kaya ko na ba siya makita ulit. Ngayong Sabado na, three days more and I'm going to see him again. Sa tuwing maiisip ko siya, ang bigat bigat ng puso ko. He gave me the happiest memories and the saddest ones too, and I can't help but to remember the sad ones. The ones that made my heart bleed a thousand times. Bakit ang sakit sakit pa rin?

I wiped the tears that escaped my eyes. People see me as a strong, cold and a little bit ruthless person, but deep inside, I'm a broken, lost and lonely soul. No one's going to understand how much pain I'm going through. Too much pain that numbs you're body., you're heart.

Tumunog ang phone ko at agad ko iyong kinuha. I always thank my friends for they keep me distracted at times, pero may mga pagkakataong naaalala ko siya sa kanila.

"Oli."

"Ready for work?" She asked. I sighed and smiled.

"Yep."

"May mga documents and files na iniwan si Hethy sa boutique mo, doon ko siya pinapunta since doon ang pinakamalapit sa condo mo. Is it okay? Naisip ko kasing baka ayaw mo siyang pumunta sa condo mo." Paliwanag ni Oli.

"okay. Sige, I'll hang up." I said and ended the call. With all these baggage I carry everyday, I still manage to go to work for I have duties and responsibilities that are waiting for me. If I continue to mourn for my broken heart and soul, wala akong mararating.

I quickly fixed myself and put on my simple gray off-shoulder top, white jeans and black stilletos. This is not a work attire, I'm going back at my condo after this anyway.

Nakarating ako sa boutique at iilan lamang ang tao. Binati ako ng mga employees roon. I was walking straight to my office when a teenage girl greeted me. Napatigil ako. Naningkit ang mga mata ko. This girl's familiar. Gusto kong matawa dahil sa tanong niya.

"Uh, D-did you design this?" She said pertaining to the blue gown she's holding. Hindi kaagad ako nakasagot, I'm still thinking where I saw her. I swear I've seen her. I looked at Michelle, one of the saleslady here. She should explain and attend this customer's needs.

"Yes. If you excuse me, I'm not a saleslady here to answer your questions. Ask Michelle." Sagot ko at agad na iniwan sila. Pumasok ako sa opisina at kinuha na ang mga papeles na nasa table ko. Lumabas ako at pumunta sa counter para hingiin kay Kate, the cashier, ang sales kahapon.

Upon waiting for her to give me what I need, I can hear the employees talking.

"Ang gwapo nong lalaki kanina noh?! 'Yon oh!" Halatang kinikilig sila and so I rolled my eyes. They keep giggling and it's quite irritating.

"Sino? 'Yong nakahoodie?"

"Oo! Medyo singkit ang mata. Girlfriend niya siguro ang kasama niya." Napalingon ako kung saan sila nakatingin. There was a guy wearing a jacket with a hoodie walking under the heat of the sun, nakaakbay ito isang babae, 'yong babae kanina. Hmm. Weird.