ASLEEP YET AWAKE

thankgod I had sunglasses

We were sitting on the front steps of my house. Ray was holding my hand while Mia was munching om a packet of potato chips. It was late afternoon and the sun was hidden behind the clouds. The sky was a dusky orange in colour. We three sat there chattering.

"I can't believe it. Mom thinks I need a psychiatrist". I told them dramatically.

"And the same thing I have been telling you for your entire life but you never took it seriously. I don't know why you are so worried about it". Mia said incoherently.

Ray smirked from beside me.

"She didn't say that in that way but in THAT way like a really need a psychiatrist". I protested.

"What's so wrong with it then? You should take a visit. Obviously they are not going to send you in a mental asylum or something". Ray told me.

"Besides the psychiatrist would need a psychiatrist too after handling you". Mia joked.

I rolled my eyes. "You guys are not getting me. She was seriously serious when she told me this". I told them.

"Your mom is just too worried about you". Mia said.

"Yeah. With both of us gone and she not being able to give you much time she is ought to worry". Ray supported mia.

"Afterall she is your mom and mom's are supposed to be over dramatic". Mia declared. "Take a chill pill girl".

"It's already chilling outside. I don't need a chill pill". I joked lamely.

Ray wrapped an arm around me protectively and I placed my head on his chest. He bent low and whispered.

"Are you still feeling cold?" He enquired.

"It was just a joke in case you didn't notice". I poked a finger to his chest.

"Okay. Okay. Love birds. Don't be all lovey dovey here. Some one here is still single". Mia interrupted our playfull banter.

Ray laughed slightly. "You don't need to be jealous just because your best friend is dating some one as awesome as me". He said playfully.

"Ofcourse I am not jealous. You pumpkin head". Mia retorted back.

I laughed my head off. I was so used to them fighting like this. It was actually fun to watch them do so.

"Okay guys. Enough of this. You guys can't go a single day without fighting withveach other. Can you?" I asked them in an angry tone.

"Ofcourse I don't like fighting with him but he is just so...so... um.. so pokey". Mia sighed dramatically.

"What!" Ray exclaimed with a fake shocked expression. "Did you just call me pokey ?" Ray demanded to which mia instantly answered,"yes. Mr. Pokey".

"You...". Ray started and ran after mia chasing him around the house.

I laughed. They were so crazy and together we were one heck of a gang.

I woke up with a smile on my face. Why does it have to be like this ? Why can't my dreams be the real world ? I sighed knowing that it was impossible.

All the windows were open and the sun light was pouring in. I was still not accustomed to such bright light in my room and I did not like it but I did not want to hurt mom's feeling so I pretended like the light was nothing unusual. But in reality I hated it so much.

Every time I wake up I always face a question: what now ? Since I have practically nothing to do and the school is on a vaccation I am free to waste my time.

I lay there in bed looking a the ceiling. Mom must have left by now. It was almost afternoon.

Just as the words escaped my mind I heard the sound of my phone signalling that I had a new message. Since I had not seen my phone in a while it came as a surprise. It's battery should be dead by now. After mia and ray both gone I had no one to conatact and I never had any social life.

I rose from the bed and saw that on the bedside table my phone was placed in it's stand and it was connected to the charger. I unplucked the charger and took my phone. I had just now recieved a message and it was no one but mom who has messaged me.

I hope you are awake sweetie. Good morning. Her message read.

Just then my phone beeped once again. There was another message from mom.

In case you forgot I wanted to remind you that you have an appointment with the psychiatrist today at 1:00 p.m. Don't be late and don't panick. There's nothing to worry about. I am sending you the address.

Love.

Mom.

I sighed as I read her message. My phone beeped again and I knew it was another text from mom containing the address of the psychiatrist. I did not bother to open the text.

I glanced at the wall clock. It was 10:45 right now. I had some time to shower and dress up.

I got up from the bed and went to my closet. I opened my closet and scanned the outfits. I did not want to wear anything extra ordinary something simple would do. It was not as if I were going willingly and besides I was going to the psychiatrist not to meet some long lost friend.

I grabbed a pair of jeans and a blue and white top. This would do for today. Next I grabbed a fresh pair of undergarments and went inside the bathroom.

I brushed my teeth and after making sure that my breath was fine I undressed myself. I turned on the faucet and rubbed my body. I closed my eyes and tried to relax. When my fingers started getting wrinkly I came out of the shower and wrapped myself in a towel. I quickly dressed my self in the clothes I have chosen.

I went to the dressing table and took the hairbrush. I gently combed through my hair. I took out a hairband and tied my hair in a pony tail. It has been a while since I have done that. I put the hairbrush down and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked fine except the bagginess under my eyes. The area under my eyes was brownish purple and my eyes appeared sunken. I noticed that my skin had gone pale. I felt uncomfortable looking at myself in the mirror. I turned away from the mirror.

I was ready to go but I still felt uneasy. I felt conscious about the way I looked. I did not want to look like crazy and I certainly did not want the psychiatrist to think that something was wrong with me.

I again walked to the dressing table. My dark circles were ugly. I can't go out looking like this. I needed to look alive and less horrible.

I considered using makeup to hide the dark circles but make up had never been my thing and I didn't wanted to spoil myself more. I had to think of thing else.

An idea flased in my mind. I opened the lower drawer and began searching through the things. I had found a way to look less horrible.

After searching through all the contents of the drawer I found it. It was nothing unusual just a pair of sunglasses that would help me to hide my darkcircles. Yes. I could use them and hide my dark circles. I wore them and looked at myself in the mirror.

Perfect

They looked fine and the white frame matched my top. I looked okay. Atleast I won't look like a zombie walking on the streets now !

I sighed and grabbed my purse from the chair. While going out I took my cell phone and placed it inside the front pocket of my jeans. I walked out of my room and climbed down the stairs. My stomach rumbled and I realized that I really needed to eat something.

I walked into the kitchen and took out the carton of orange juice out of the fridge. I poured myself a glass and then scanned the items in the fridge. I took out two eggs and made myself an omelette quickly. After eating my own omelette and gulping down the food I went out locking the house behind me.

For the first time in the past few weeks I was going out of the house alone. Alone. I felt a pain in my heart but I ignored it and walked further. I had to learn being alone.