ASLEEP YET AWAKE

sweetheart and coffee

"Yes lara . I am going"

"Going?"

"Yes.."

"Where.. ??"

"Remember i told you about meeting dad ? He is shifting business. We are going. South america in 3 days. "

"Just three days ? "

"Yeah.."

I did not know what to say...

"Ray..."

He burried his face in his hands for a moment. Then grabbed my hand.

"I tried. But i just cannot stay here all alone. Besides dad won't let me "

I nodded in response.

"Look here."

He leaned over the table gently pulling my chin up so that i looked in his eyes.

"I will miss you.." his voice was a whisper.

I could feel numbness in my body. A dull ache in my heart.
I was shaking. It felt like tears would come any time but they did not. My mind was blank. I wanted to respond. I wanted to tell him that i will miss him too. That i could not live without him. I love him. But i was devoid of words at the moment. It was too much to take at once.

"I must leave.." . I stood up abruplty and grabbed my bag.
He was saying something but i did not know what it was. My mind was spinning. He was stopping me but i ran outside getting into the first cab.

I will miss you

I will miss you

His voice echoed in my head. My heart was heavy. I did not know what to do. Things were a blur for me at the time. I could not analyse things around me. I get off the cab and rushed to my room to avoid mumma's cross answering.

Ray...

He was the only thing in my mind. I absent mindedly shut the door behind me and slid down along the bed resting my head on its edge. His words echoed in my mind. He was going and my mind seemed to not accept the fact. What am i without him ? The heaviness in my heart increased. As much as i wanted to cry the tears would not come. I dont know why.

I closed my eyes. Images of him clouded my mind. I can remember every little meeting we had. The first time we talked...the day he asked me out..everything.

He was this extremly cute new boy at this campus who came in mid session. He made friends easily and once he was well settled in the school i came to see him everywhere. He and his frnds used to sit on the table opposite ours in the canteen and he was in some of my classes too. These frequent meetings led us on a game of staring at each other. I began feeling self conscious about my looks and that was when he asked me out. So casually just for a game in the stadium. I was happy. One event led to the other and we came closer. Soon our hearts were knitted together. He became my life and my world. He loved me so much. I never ever in my craziest of dreams saw him going away from me. Specially not a continent away.

I reached over for my cell phone and switched it off. I needed time to think. This was too much to take at once. I put my phone beside the bedpost. And again closed my eyes to be lost in the world of dreams where he belonged to me and nothing could do us apart. Perhaps i could give us a good end in my dreams. Wherever he may go he will always stay in my heart. Every fibre of my being is attached to him. How can he be separated from me when his heart is connected with mine , when his soul is united with mine. In my world of dreams i will hold him close to my heart forever. We will be there laughing like always. His hand holding mine possesively and his eyes twinkling with love. We will enjoy the life and fulfill all our dreams together somewhere in my world of dreams. My eyes will be closed to be opened in my dreams.

Sleep engulfed me taking me to my dreams where my ray was waiting for me with his arms open and i was falling slowly..slowly.. in his arms....