So Much More To You » L.S

Chapter 12

HAHAHHA I UPDATED.

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"We can both remove the masks and admit we regret it from the start."

Harry went home and cried, scratch that, he sobbed. His mother stood outside his room banging his door asking what's wrong, Harry knew she'd been crying too from her voice.

All because of you.

Harry sobbed harder. He wished he wasn't the way he was. He wished he could stop ruining people's lives. That's all he could do.

He ruined his mum's life. His father's life. His life. Louis' life. Oh Louis.

He sobbed harder.

He didn't mean anything he said. He didn't want Louis to leave him alone, he wanted Louis to hold him as he sobbed in his chest. He wanted Louis to kiss him and tell him everything was going to be okay and how much he cared and how he would never leave Harry.

But that's impossible. Everyone leaves. So it's better to leave before they do. It hurts less.

Harry sniffles as he walked into the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror. His eyes red and puffy, hair all over the place and his face expressionless.

He wouldn't think about cutting or suiciding, he didn't go there. He did try once. But that ended up with a long hospital bill in his mother's hand and her working her ass off. Harry didn't want a  repeat anything of that. He'd caused so much trouble as it is. He knew his mother loved him, the only person who chose him over the others. He tries to show her how much he loves her too. He hopes she knows.

He washed his face and walked down, to his mother who was sitting on the couch, the tv playing as she had her face in her hands.

Harry went over and placed his head on her lap. She smiled at him, running her hands through his hair like always.

"You want to talk about it? You were pretty happy these past few days, honey, what happened?" She asked, softly, hands still running through Harry's hair.

Harry tried to speak, but there was a lump in his throat and he wanted to cry. So he did.

Anne sighed, wishing she could do something for her son.

"Louis-Louis makes-s me happy, mum." Harry said, hiccuping.

"That's a good thing, right?" Anne said, carefully.

"But-but what if he's like him mum? I can't—I shouldn't have gotten close mum. I shouldn't have. Now he's probably sad because of me but I can't trust him mom I can never trust anybody after what happened." Harry said, shaking his head and burying himself in his mother's side.

Anne sighed, what did that boy do to her lovely Harry?

"You can't just assume that honey. Not everyone is him. You can't keep punishing yourself for something that happened before. You've got to trust other people, love." She said, softly.

"I try mum, I really do. But everything comes back every time and it's scary mum. He's gonna leave me too. Why would he want to be with me anyway?" Harry mumbled.

"Don't you dare say that Harold. You're my lovely son, you're the bravest, most truest person. If people don't see that it's their mistake."

"So I should trust Louis?" Harry asked, pulling at the thread on his mother's jumper.

"Has he given a reason not to?"

"No, he's been lovely actually. He isn't like others. He doesn't believe that I'm bad. He says there's more to me than my tattoos and scary facade ,mum. He—he's so lovely always ,he never assumes and makes sure I'm happy always. He wants to know me. Like what I like to do. He tells me about himself too. He has four sisters mum. How lovely is that?He's—he's really lovely." Harry said, sighing. Anne was  taken aback. It had been a while since her son had been so fond about some boy. Anybody really.

"Then I don't see a reason why you shouldn't." Anne said, smiling at Harry.

"What if—"

"Harry. There's always going to be what if's , but you can't know if you're right or wrong unless you try. Sometimes it's because of the what if's that you miss on best of people and things. And maybe if you let Louis go because of the what if's , you're going to be missing on one of the best people." Harry sat up at that.

"But I was mean to him mum. I told him bad stuff and to leave me alone and I didn't mean them mum. I just— I saw him and I wanted to run away. I thought I was doing wrong by trusting another person. I was very mean mum."
Harry said, frowning.

"Well you could always apologise and bake some cookies, you told me he wanted to know you right? Might as well reveal one of your secrets." Anne told him,smiling.

Harry grinned at that, almost sprinting over to the kitchen and removing the ingredients and throwing things around.

Anne smiled, her baby boy was going to make it. She just knew it.

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HE'S GONNA BALE COOLIES FOR LOUEH!!!