Living your dream

chapter 32

Chapter 32

“this is all my fault” Justin says when he sees the worried look on your face, “I never wanted you to get in a fight with your parents” he continues. He has a hurt look in his eyes and you don’t know what’s going on inside his head.

“hey where is this coming from?” you ask surprised.

“if it wasn’t for me none of this would be happening, maybe I should just go” he continues , the look in his eyes is one of pure pain and you know he really doesn’t mean what he says.

“Justin what ? no ! I don’t want you to go” you yell almost hysterical, “no just no, don’t do that to me” you cry out, why is he saying this, this can’t be happening, if he leaves you you don’t want to live anymore.

“Justin please” you beg him, you take his hand and place it on your heart, “you feel my heart beating, it’s only beating for you”.

“I know and it would tear me apart if I had to leave you but I think it’s for the best” Justin replies calm, “how can he be so calm, it’s like he already made up his mind and is not gonna change it. This is not what you expected to happen and you don’t have time now to talk about it, your mom can arrive any minute. As soon as you finish that though there is a knock on the door, Justin opens it and it’s your mom, her eyes are red from crying and you see a small bruise on her cheek “omg mom what happened, did he hit you?” you ask in shock when you see her face.

“it’s okay sweetheart, I’m fine” she assures you.

“well you don’t look fine, what happened when we left?”. You feel yourself get angry and you turn to Justin to look for support but he acts all distant, you need to keep strong for your mom but you don’t know how much longer you can.

Your mom takes your hand and takes you with her to sit on the bed, after a deep breath she starts talking “he totally lost it when I got inside after you left, he started shouting at me for letting you leave and when I wanted to calm him down he pushed me aside and I slammed my head against the closet. That’s when I decided to leave” , you listen to your mom in shock “omg mom I’m so sorry, you’re not going to go back to him are you?”. She shakes her head letting you know she’s not “no not unless he gets himself together and apologizes to you and Justin”.

“are you seriously thinking about giving him another chance?” you ask surprised.

“I don’t know darling, no matter what I still love him” she lets you know. She bows her head and you see a tear rolling over her cheek. “I know what you mean mom” you comfort her putting an arm around her shoulder and looking at Justin who has been sitting there all this time and not saying one word. He sees you’re looking at him and he turns his head, how can he do this, when you need him the most , this isn’t the guy you have loved for so many years, he would never do something like this. You need some answers but he refuses to give you a clear answer.

“I’m going for a walk” Justin quietly says and without giving you one more look or another word he leaves the room. You have this scared feeling you won’t see him again.

“what’s going on between you, did you have a fight? She asks picking up on the tension that has been there between you and Justin. “no mom everything is fine, he’s just shaken up from dad hitting him” you say putting on a brave face, you don’t want to bother your mom with this, she has enough on her head as it is.

“so what are you gonna do now?” you ask your mom avoiding the subject about Justin and putting on a fake smile but deep down you are starting to break into a million pieces. All you want to do is to find him and talk to him, change his mind.

“well I’m gonna get a room here for a while, your father and I need some time apart and if he doesn’t apologizes and changes his act I’m leaving him for good”. She sounds sure of herself and you hope it stays that way cause you’re father has some weird control over her that you never understood, he can play it so well that she would just go back to him.

“that’s a very good idea, promise me you won’t let him intimidate you?”.

“I promise sweetheart” she assures you and gives you a hug and a loving kiss on your head, “I’m gonna leave you now, you have to get ready to leave tomorrow” she tells you, she stands up and loks at you with a questioning look on her face “you are still leaving aren’t you? “

“uhm yeah we are” you say a bit too hesitant not knowing what to tell her, and not knowing if and when Justin is gonna come back, now that you think about it he never got the bags out of the car , you start to panic and really want to go look for him but you don’t want to make your mom suspicious.

“are you sure everything is okay? you look a bit pale” you mom asks worried. “god mom can you drop it” you think. “yes mom I’m perfectly fine, just tired” putting on another fake smile you let your mom out and waits a few seconds till you’re sure she can’t hear you. You then grab your phone and dial Justin’s number but as you expected he doesn’t answer , you decide to leave a message on his voicemail hoping he’ll listen to it, “Justin please where are you, you can’t do this to me, I need you, you can’t just leave me without giving me a decent explanation , none of this is your fault. Please come back I can’t do this without you” . you’re crying so hard that you just drop your phone out of your hands, you let yourself slide against the wall on the floor crying feeling like someone is ripping your heart out of your chest, in a way this is much worse than when he was in a coma.