Living your dream

chapter 14

Chapter 14

Pushing yourself up off his chest you are scared cause of the look on his face, you let yourself slide of the bed back into your wheelchair , you want to call a doctor as fast as you can but your legs still feel like jello and you don’t want to leave Justin alone like this so you press the red alarm button next to his bed hoping for someone to come soon. You take his hand to try and calm him down “it’s okay Justin, don’t try to talk someone will come soon” you assure him in a trembling voice, he pulls his hand away from you and looks at you scared and confused like he doesn’t know who you are and you don’t know what’s going on, he gets more and more agitated and tries to pull out the breathing tube in his mouth, “no Justin don’t take the tube out” you’re still trying to calm him down but nothing you say or do seems to work, you’re really getting worried about the way he’s acting, he’s almost at the point where he’s freaking out , you want to do something to help but you just sit there in shock, helpless, “this isn’t the Justin in know” you think tears rolling over your cheeks. it takes forever for someone to come and help but in reality it’s only been seconds, you push the red button again now harder.

Seconds later a nurse and doctor come rushing in “calm down Mr. Bieber , you’re in hospital “ the nurse says calmly taking Justin’s hands and pulling them away from the breathing tube he’s still trying to pull out, you rolled your wheelchair back giving the nurse and doctor some room to examine Justin , angry at yourself for not doing anything more to calm him down you start crying more, “why is he being like this?” you think out loud and the nurse must have heard you, she turns around to face you putting a hand on your shoulder “it’s perfectly normal, he just woke up from a coma” she assures you but you know she’s wrong, this isn’t like him, it’s like looking at a completely different person.

“his heartbeat is too fast” you hear the nurse whisper to the doctor and until now you hadn’t heard the fast beeping sound on the monitor next to his bed , fear overcomes you when you see just how fast his heart is beating , the numbers on the screen showing 190 beats per minute, even someone like you that doesn’t have a medical background knows that’s not good, “what’s wrong ?” you ask panicky moving in closer to see what’s happening , “I’m not sure yet “ the doctor states unsure, “doctor his blood pressure is rising” the nurse says expressing her concern, the doctor rushes back to Justin checking all the wires and listening to his heart with his stethoscope , “we need to sedate him again, his blood pressure is too high for his heart to cope” the doctor states in an urgent matter , the nurse running out of the room quickly, “doctor is he gonna be okay?” you ask fearful , “we’re doing everything we can miss” he tries to reassure you but not doing a very good job.

The beeps on the monitor next to Justin’s bed keep going faster and begin to sound more irregular , you look at Justin seeing him struggle to keep himself alive and within seconds his eyes roll back into his head, he arches his back and his body starts convulsing , the doctor rushes back to Justin trying to restrain him before he hurts himself even more , “what’s happening , please doctor do something!” you howl in a state of shock placing your hand in front of your mouth feeling the air being sucked out of your lungs, ignoring you the doctor yells at the nurse “get in here and bring dilantin , he’s having a seizure !” . the nurse comes running back in followed buy your mom and Pattie “omg Justin , please doctor tell me my son is gonna be okay?” Pattie cries out both her hands in front of her mouth and it’s obvious she’s in shock. “I can’t tell at his point, first we need to let the Dilantin do its work and stop the seizure” the doctor states calmly while he giving Justin the medication through his iv but you can see a worried look on his face.

The five of you stand there without saying a word watching Justin hoping the medication will work soon and it does, after a few seconds the seizures stop and Justin goes back to being his motionless self, the doctor checks his pulse and blood pressure the worried look on his face still there, after he done that the doctor turns around facing you he takes a deep breath and you know there is something seriously wrong “ he’s back into a coma and at this point I can’t say when he’s gonna wake up if he ever wakes up” saying the last words more quiet as if he was hoping you won’t hear them but you heard them alright and those words were like a knife that was being stabbed in your heart , “this can’t be happening” you thought “not when we just fell in love” , you turn to look at Pattie and your mom, your mom keeping her distance but you wish she would just hold you in her arms and tell you everything is gonna be alright, and Pattie, well she still looks beautiful as always but you have to admit now she also looks like a mess but who wouldn’t be when you just heard your only son may never wake up again, she looks like she could collapse at any minute, you take her hand “are you okay?” you whisper to her,squeezing her hand in a loving and comforting way but you know that no matter what you do or say nothing will make this situation better and you just wish you could turn back time to before you got into the car.

The guilty feeling was still there, it was pushed to the back but now that you see Pattie as an emotional wreck and Justin it has come back , you know it’s your fault. As if your mom could read your thoughts she comes over to you placing her hand on your shoulder “I know that look on your face and what you’re thinking and it’s not your fault sweetheart” your mom whispers , Pattie heard what your mom told you, she turns around and takes both hands in hers “I already told you it’s not your fault, Justin would say the same I’m sure of it” Pattie says in a comforting way holding your hands close to her heart as in a way to let you know she doesn’t blame you, “I will never forgive myself if he doesn’t wake up” you say sobbing looking down to avoid looking at Pattie’s face, she takes your chin between her index finger and thumb making you look up “there is no one that blames you for this so stop thinking like that, it will only make you sick” she says in a much stricter way now, with your eyes filled with tears you nod your head “okay I’ll try” you whisper letting out a sigh but in the back of your head you’re still convinced it’s your fault.

After sitting with Justin for a few more minutes Pattie telling stories about when Justin was little the nurse comes walking in telling you that visiting hours are over, Pattie and you mom get up , your mom takes your wheelchair and starts pushing you away from Justin but you really don’t want to leave Justin , you don’t want him to be alone, “can you wait a minute mom” you ask and you roll back to the nurse who is now checking Justin’s vital signs, “nurse could I please stay with him ?” you ask in a desperate way, the nurse looks at you thinking for a second what she should answer and then  agrees seeing the torn look on your face “okay I guess it can’t hurt” she answers giving you a caring smile. “are you sure about this?” your mom asks worried, “yes mom I just want to sit with him and I promise if I get tired I’ll go to my room” you assure your mom, “okay I’ll see you in the morning sweetheart” she gives you a kiss on the head and leaves the room, ‘if anything changes call me okay?” Pattie says and to your surprise she takes you in her arms giving you a hug and you feel the love in that one hug. “I will I promise” you assure her hugging her back , she gives Justin a kiss on the cheek “I love you baby” she whispers to him stroking his face and then following your mom who is waiting outside the room leaving you and Justin alone.

Moving closer to him you take Justin’s hand and put it to your face hoping he will feel your presence “you can’t just leave me like this Justin, not when we just met” you say in tears , kissing his hand you take it in yours and place it on the bed again next to his body, gently running your thumb up and down the palm of his hand you start talking to him about all the plans you have for the both of you. After an hour or so you start to feel really tired so you decide to go to your room and get some sleep “I have to go now baby but I’ll be back first thing tomorrow,I love you so much” you whisper to him, taking his hand back to your face you give it a sweet kiss, and just when you’re about to let go of his hand you feel his fingers move “Justin baby can you hear me?” you ask careful and scared cause you don’t want him to react the same way he did a few hours ago, “if you can hear me squeeze my hand ?” you sit up straight now staring at his hand hoping it will move and it does. Looking up to his face you see he’s trying to open his eyes, “wait here I’m gonna get the nurse” you say excited and happy cause he’s awake. In what state he will be when he’s fully awake after the seizure he had earlier doesn’t even cross your mind, you’re just too happy that he’s awake.

I hope you guys like this chapter, please let me know what you think

Thanks Brenda xx