The Secret of Me

Kisses While Crying

He drags me down the hall by my wrist, and pulls me into a dark room, closing the door and locking it behind him.

My heart thumps rapidly with a deep fear.
I was abruptly plunged into a soft feathery mass, I hear foot fall as small orbs of light began to glow around the rooms, the light scent of roses wafted through the air. Candles.
"You are extremely stupid." He said, turning, his face shaded with his hat. "Now, you yourself, said you would do anything if I saved you." He took a few steps forward, I lay shriveled on the bed, wide eyed, silent.
He was standing directly in front of me, "Now, you must obey."
I silently closed my eyes, tears dripping from my face.

This was it.

He was going to nail me.

And that would be that.
His hand grabbed my shoulders, pushing me down onto the bed, his face inches from mine.
I could make out flecks of gold in his gray eyes.
I felt the bedsheet I tied to myself early loosening on its own.

He was practically on top of me now, his face straight, eyes deadly.
His eyes were locked with mine.
"Now," He said, his voice brutal, "Who are you?"
I look up at him, my blue eyes getting watery, and I decide to tell this man I've known less than a day, something I've never whispered to anyone my entire life.
"I... don't know. Someone who was something more a long time ago, back when she remembered. But something like death made her forget... now... I'm nobody in the body of somebody."

He looked down at me, I nervously stared up at him.
Then lips hit mine, roughly, hungrily, and all at once.
The way his lips moved in sync with his tongue, the way he pulled me closer to him, my mouth not knowing what to do, pausing every few seconds to look at me with a look I've never seen before in my life. It was the look of, 'you understand...'
And this look causes my eyelids to slowly close after a moment and my arms wrapping around him as
I cry and kiss at the same time.

I walk down the hall of the submarine, when out of nowhere a cat lunges and grabs me at the waste, "NYYYXXXX!!" She cried, "I WASS SOOOOO WORRRIIIIEEEEDDD!!"
I pet her gently, giggling, "It's ok..." I say, "I'm fine..."
Her head was still stuck to my chest.
"C'mon Kiti, let go..." I say soothingly, and she let out a muffled no. "Please, I'm trying to get back to the ship..."
Her ears perk up and she looks up and me and gives me a small grin, small sharp teeth showing, "Okay!"
She dragged me to the ship, where we were warmly welcomed by our newest sharp shooter.
"Hello Captain!" He said, glancing at me slightly scared, I give him a nod, "Good Evening."
We eat diner and Kiti takes first shift, I go to my room and quickly realize, no sleep will be had tonight.

The kiss from a few hours earlier was permanently relaying in my mind.
It was salty and sweet.
He tasted like something I've never tasted before.
Like sadness and anger and a tinge of joy in between.
He tasted the way I felt.
Pretending to be happy... or at least normal, but breaking inside.
I loved him...
But it was obvious I couldn't have him.
We both knew that.
But our routes for the next few months were the same...
And he agreed to teach me how to use my katana to a better ability.
Now, we will have to see what time can tell.
He has many secrets....
Many many secrets when one refuses to reveals one's name.

I continued to stare at the ceiling enjoying the rock of the waves, thinking about what had happened before I met Law, the reason I met Law....
The girl with the blue hair somehow caused a flashback, or should I say, flashforward? to a time where I obviously know her, and the winged girl and... him...

I watch the stars and then as my eyes begin to close, a figure in a cloak stands in front of me a grin that I could never forget on its face.
I let out a scream and it was gone, I continue to scream for a good minute, then Kiti bursts in as a tiger, ready to kill.
"What is it?!" She growls, green eyes jumping around the room, it took me a moment to realize, it was just my dresser and the star light playing tricks on my eyes, I sigh, "It was nothing..."
My heart was racing with the sudden scare I'd received.
"Oh." She said, popping into her human form and sitting on my bed, she yawned sleepily, her eyelids sagging, ears drooping.
She curled up against me, falling asleep, one ear bent in her sleep.
A small smile creeps onto my lips as I lean against the wall, stroking her hair, and slowly, falling asleep.