Ass(ets)

were you raised in a bar(n)?

Arriving at the bar the group smile and greet mutual friends before heading to a central booth. It is there that they greet a little more enthusiastically. It's the true friends who sit there. All together as one. In a way Ella thinks her crowd is almost as exclusive as her and James were. They're tight knit and don't really interact all that much with others. They don't need others. They have each other.

An hour or so later John H. nudges Edmund. He in turn elbows John B. who kicks John W.'s shin. Then he in turn looks pointedly at Ella.

(There are too many John's in the group. As a rule Ella thinks there shouldn't be more than 2 to limit the confusion. But John W. had wormed his way in a few years ago and no one really had the heart to kick him out. By the time anyone had felt like doing such a thing he'd become such an intrinsic part of the group it was be odd to do anything about him.)

The gestures had all been about one thing. About one boy. James, the boy who had strolled into the bar looking carefree (and Ella noted as gorgeous as ever) with his arm tucked around the waist of a vaguely familiar brunette.

John W. sends a sympathetic glance in Ella's direction. In that moment Ella really regrets not kicking him out the group. She doesn't need his pitying glances.

John W. then reminds the group the girl James is with had a particularly sensational rumour surround her last year concerning a tennis instructor and a bout of syphilis. Ella then thinks John W. is worth having around after all.

Ella is really not wanting to to have an awkward stare off with James. Particularly as the whole of her booth is looking directly at him. Before he can feel the numerous eyes upon him Ella announces hastily that she wants to dance. They all rise with her and make their way towards the dance floor.

Ella can't help but feel proud of the support her friends silently offer. It's seems like a natural response for them. It's not overthought. One of their members is going through a breakup and so here they all are comforting her by their simple presence. Their solidarity. She likes that none of them have outright asked her how she's doing or been nosy. When she wants to talk she will and they respect that.

Appreciating this Ella feels rather content and rather happy. So she begins to dance.

The dance floor is busy but it's still early so it's not quite packed. Therefore you could still be seen properly. As her mother had always said if people are going to watch you than you'd better give them something to watch. So perhaps her dancing, as much as it was for herself, was also a little for show and a little to prove that yes she still had it.

As the beat picks up she feels a boy come up and dance behind her. He moves with her and is touching her but it's respectful. She breathes a sigh of relief that she won't have to be batting away wandering hands and eases up as she realises he just wants to dance.

Her unknown partner is actually quite good at dancing, she'll give him that. He begins to delicately run his hands along the curve of her waist. But it's hesitant. He's careful with her. Treating her with tender care. Ella feels entirely comfortable even though her mind is processing that a stranger is pressed up against her in the middle of the dance floor.

As she glances up her friend Emily winks and smirks at her so Ella is at least sure the boy she's dancing with is at least hot. To emphasis this Emily mimes fanning herself before turning away. Ella often aims to give the impression she's not shallow and she tries not to be, but there's always a part of you that can't help responding to beauty. The presence or absence of beauty that is.

Ella accidentally makes full eye contact with James who is still leaning on the bar encircled by a few friends. To have done this she notes he must have been staring at her. Realising she couldn't exactly pretend not to have seen him she nods her head slightly and gives him a (slightly false but mostly real) smile.

James smiles back slightly strained. Ella knows him well enough to know he is verging on angry. James isn't quite there but he's reaching the point. Ella feels slightly upset that she's evoked that sort of emotion from him. She'd have liked to become friends with him, maybe not now but maybe a few months down the line when she's no longer in love with him but loves him.

Ella wonders if it's the fact that she's dancing with another boy that's pissing James off. She thinks she hopes that is the case. At least she can still make him jealous if nothing else. At least he held some emotion towards her still. She doesn't know how she'd cope if he didn't feel anything towards her at all. There's nothing worse than to not feel. To not have a response. To regard something as so irrelevant it doesn't dignify a thought.

Not meaning to exactly do it, but not purely unintentional she leans slightly more into the boy. Her back now pressed up even closer to the boy's front she breaks eye contact with James feeling it impolite.

Time passes and they continue to dance. All Ella thinks of is the music and her dance partner. Her mind is clear of all else and she finds a clarity in the focusing of the present moment. As his fingers brush the small exposed skin between her jeans and top she grins. She thinks to herself if he's cute enough (Emily at least thinks so) and nice enough (he is very respectful dancing with her) than she'd consider taking him home. She needed a release. She assured herself that this wasn't because of James. This was because of herself.

So, Ella turns slowly. She meets face to face with a boy that is very familiar. They both hold a slight look of shock. Ella think he must not have recognised her from behind.

The boy's face expresses so many changing emotions in such a short space of time that Ella can hardly keep up.

He goes from recognition to confusion, to elation and then to a removed distant look that's accompanied by a hint of shame.

Wanting to wipe that last look from his face she holds his arm as he attempts to walk away from her.

She leans in and says gently "It's okay. We didn't realise. Anyhow, James doesn't have a claim over me anymore. Don't regret it. Don't feel guilty."

He shakes his head slightly as if finding the situation amusing. He then says "I'm sure your boyfriend would object."

Ella snaps back immediately "I don't have a boyfriend."

In a softer and slower tone she continues with the words "He broke up with me about 2/3 weeks ago. Hasn't he told you?" Ella knows for a fact it's been 2 weeks and 4 days since the breakup but she's not about to let that on.

"No, he doesn't really speak to me about you. Considering." He says.

Ella nods slowly and then does something she'll probably regret later. She leans in closer and kisses Noah fully on the mouth.