Ass(ets)

decorum

As Noah walks over to James' house he runs through everything not to say when you've kissed your best-friend's ex.

1) It was a one time thing (Was it? That would make it meaningless and therefore no point in even doing the act, but then by that account you would never do anything. So meta it actually hurts...)

2) It wasn't even that good (It was... plus James had dated her so clearly knew she was a good kisser)

3) At least I didn't kiss your actual girlfriend (dickhead move)

4) At least I didn't kiss your mum (She's a total MILF there's no denying it, but that's so wrong)

Sighing (and slightly panicking at his utter lack of anything to say that wouldn't offend anyone) he reaches for the doorbell.

"Hello." James says opening the door.
"Hello, how are you?" Noah replies politely.
"Very well thank you, and you?"

They both looked at each other for an awkward moment before grinning and shaking their heads.

James starts saying "When did you start learning manners?" while Noah adds laughingly "I feel like we've both been to finishing school."

James smirks before adding "Didn't you hear I was debutante of the season?" sarcastically.

"Um sorry but who held their fork wrong until they were twelve? And who thought sauté was a type of dance?" Noah teases.

"Maybe... Possibly... Just about 100% certain that was me" James admits.

Silence ensues

"I missed you," James blurts out "and we've been so weird with each other lately. I've started hanging out with John fucking W. and you know I hate him. Can we just appreciate that you'll never be replaced." He reels off.

"Least of all by John W." Noah mock gasps.

Noah on a more serious note begins to speak "I'd say I was sorry for kissing Ella, but I don't think I'd mean it. She started kissing me... and I couldn't just not. I kind of liked her a while back, but then you guys were dating and I would never have... and did you see the way she used to look at you? Nothing else in the world matters when you're together. I've been kind of quiet around you for a while, but I've been a little jealous. Not even really of Ella because it was just a silly little crush really, but of you."

"Wait. Are you saying you like me? You have a crush on me?" James asks with his eyes slightly wider than usual.

"What. No! Gross ew. Not that you're not attractive or anything, but I've known you for ages and you're like my brother. Biggest turn off." Noah says frankly. "Plus I'm not into guys." He says as an afterthought.

"What did you mean then? And to be fair if I was still into guys I would probably do you." James teases. "Actually no, your hair is shit."

Noah runs a hand through his own hair jokingly (but knowing full well his hair is way better than James'). "Well, I am way better looking than that guy Paul you were with a while back." Noah says half smug half teasing.

"Your ego is insufferable," James laughs "but what did you mean about being jealous?"

Noah begins to clarify "I didn't mean I wanted to date you. I meant that it was weird seeing you so involved with someone. We've both had girlfriends, and even boyfriends, before, but never that serious. And yet you never spoke to me about her. It was as if you had this mysterious double life that I just suddenly wasn't part of."

"Oh." James nods understandingly and crosses his arms. "I always felt a little off speaking to you about Ella. The whole you kind of liked her situation and I didn't want to rub it in your face or anything."

Noah says "I get why you didn't talk about her to me, but there was just this whole shift to the dynamic of our friendship. I'm not saying it was a bad or good change. I'm just saying it was different and I didn't really know how to respond to that..." he trails off.

"I'm glad we've talked about this. It's good to get it out in the open." James says uncrossing his arms.

"I agree, but what about how you feel about me kissing Ella?" Noah asks quietly.

James winces slightly before opening his mouth "I'm glad you were decent enough to wait until after we broke up. However, it just kind of feels like you were waiting begins the scenes, you know? Waiting for me to mess up and then you'd swoop in."

"Woah. It's completely not like that James. Is that why you didn't tell me you guys had called it quits?" Noah asks slightly accusingly. "Seriously, I'm better than that and you know it."

"I just couldn't bear to see her with anyone else after. Least of all my bestfriend."

"I get it, but at the same you can't decide what or who she's doing." Noah clarifies.

"I know that." James says slowly. "It doesn't stop me caring though."

Noah nods.

James begins to say "I'm not in any way forbidding you to see her... or date her... if you want. It's just a bit close to home."

"Okay. I'm just going to think about it. I kind of liked her a while back and I think I still sort of do, but I don't honestly know her all that well. And I've got to consider you in all of it." Noah says.

Then elbowing James' side he smiles "Not sure I need all this drama just when I've got my bestfriend back."