Next Door {l.r.h} [COMPLETE]

42. Never Forget

That night we got back to the house it was surprisingly not awkward at all.
The boys, including Luke, decided to stay the night the entire time I was there. I start to wonder if they ever leave Mikeys house, cause I've been to Luke and calums house once but never Ashton's. Speaking of Ashton we were currently playing Fifa, as he always does, and I was beating him 2-0. Which as you can imagine is making him extremely mad considering I've only played this game a handful of times.
He grunts for the hundredth time since we started playing as I make a goal yet again.
"How are you doing that" he growls and I just giggle deciding not to tell him that I'm only button mashing.
I feel the couch dip down beside me, but only ignore it expecting it to be Mikey wanting to bother me.
I then notice an arm snake around my waist and fingers tap the side of my thigh and I look at the hand suspiciously, once I see the faded black nail polish my eyes widen and my heartbeat picks up. Afraid to look up, I ignore the fingers tapping on the side of my thigh and just continue playing Fifa with Ashton.
Ashton scores two goals in a matter of five minutes and keeps cheering himself on to get another one to tie with me. I grunt at myself getting distracted by the hand currently holding my waist and try my best to keep my lead.
The arm that's snaked around my waist slowly pulls me closer and I instinctively look up, but immediately regret it.
I look into Luke's bright blue eyes and he smiles at me, not even trying to hide that he was staring at me. I try to keep my emotions undercover and attempt to pull off the emotionless look as I look at him even longer, not being able to look away.
"Hey" he whispers in a raspy voice and I feel the corners of my lips curl up slightly at the sound. He notices and kisses me on the forehead, but I take the opportunity of our eyes not being locked together to turn my head back to the tv and push his arm off me as he misses my forehead and kisses the side of my head instead but cringes at the wet hair.
"Lace we need to talk" he says and I shake my head scooting closer to Ashton and away from him.
Ashton looks at Luke and puts his arm around me "leave her alone man"
Luke grabs the controller from me and throws it over the couch before grabbing me and slinging me over his shoulder like a bag.
I hit his back and feel his shoulder shake with laughter at my weakness.
He takes me into the bedroom that's downstairs and puts me down before closing the door and blocking it.
I cross my arms and keep an angry and intimidating expression on my face. He mimics my expression and stance in attempt to make me laugh but fails drastically as I don't move a single muscle. His shoulders slump and he sits in the desk chair, spinning once, before facing me with a business man impression look.
The corners of my lips turn up again and I let out a little giggle, I see his eyes light up at the sound and a little smirk begin to form on his sculptured face so I go back to my earlier expression.
He leans back more and just stares at me and I take that as an opportunity to look over him and how he's changed. He's wearing worn out black jeans, as always, a dark blue shirt with a leather jacket over it. His blond hair is pushed back and held back with a black SnapBack, but little clumps of unwashed blonde hairs still stick out since he's always had it on the crazy side. He's wearing his all black converse with a rip in the side where the logo should be, probably because he picked it off. He plays with the rings on his fingers and I notice one in particular.
I grab his hand and take it off his thumb and notice the familiar carving on the inside and I look at him with anger building up inside me. He looks at what I'm looking at and his face pales as he sits up to face what's about to come at him.
"Luke I've been looking for this since I lost it" I say stomping closer to him, making him flinch and stand up to gain dominance on me. He fails as I push him back in the chair by his shoulders and he does so willingly like a whipped puppy.
"I uh yeah. I saw it on your bag and I put it on because I wanted something of yours to always be with me" he mumbles and my heart warms at the thought of younger Luke doing that. But he's changed now.. He's not the same Luke he was before I left and this Luke is cocky and annoying.
I put the ring in its rightful spot on my pointer finger and he stands up to protest. I give him a look signaling him not to test me but he gives the same look, but a hint of something I can't quite read. He tries to take it off my finger but I don't let him and he gets a smack on the arm instead. He clenches his jaw and pushes me against the wall, breathing heavily in anger "lace give that back I need it" he growls reaching for my hand but I put it behind my back so he can't reach it without having to let me go. He glares at me and just as I think I'm about to get it his hand rests gently on my waist and the one holding me against the wall loosens its grip without completely letting me go.
"I know who gave you that and I don't like it" he barely whispers his voice being gone by anger. I let out a sigh and take off the ring to look at the carved words on the inside of the plain silver ring "never forget"
Luke glares at it and tried to take it but I put it back on my finger before he can. I look into his eyes which are a darker blue due to his anger and I shake my head "I know you don't like him but he's really special to me" and at that lukes grips tighten on me again and I push him away before he has a chance to hurt me.
"No lace. I'm important to you" he says hovering over me and I shake my head for the second time in the past two minutes "you used to be important to me.. You're not the same anymore"
He holds my waist unexpectedly and leans his forehead on mine "I've been through a lot the past five years" I remember Ashton's sister and I hold his neck and rub his cheek with my thumb to assure him I know what he's talking about. He sighs slightly at my touch and I drop my hands to his tense shoulders which relax slightly at my touch.
He keeps his eyes on me and I try to think of the right words to say but fail and only come up with his name. He looks at me with pleading eyes as his name leaves my mouth and I blink away from his gaze. He puts two fingers under my chin and lifts my head up as if he's gonna kiss me but only stares at me to get permission.
When I slightly shake my head no, not ready for the contact again he smiles a little "I really missed you, and that shirt you're wearing.. Which is mine"
I look at the black shirt that's tied to the side, showing a bit of my lower stomach and I mentally slap myself for letting Luke help me pack two years ago.. Most of my shirts are probably his. His hand rubs my lower back in circular motions cueing me to look back at him, but this time we were closer and our noses were pressed against each other.
"Give me the fucking green light lace" he whispers with a playful smirk and I laugh at his little pun. He uses my distracted moment and catches me off guard by crashing his lips on mine and moving his hands to hold my neck to steady me.
I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy his lips on mine again and feeling the warmth of them but also the cold of his lip ring. I would be lying if I said I didn't like the way his fingers rubbed the back of my neck, playing with the baby hairs while at it. Lastly I would be lying if I said I wouldn't regret this in a second. And that's exactly what I did, I lied to myself. I'm was so caught up in the way our lips moved in sync and how he held me that I didn't realize what would happen the moment we stopped kissing. I would catch even bigger feelings for this boy who sleeps around these days and it would destroy me even more than the first time to go back to America. I told myself that this is fine and this is normal for people my age to do, I told myself that he's not dangerous and that we're not going to have anymore problems. Even worse, I told myself that I loved this boy even more than the first time I admitted it, but that's just it. That's the only part that was true.

As these thoughts ran through my mind we had somehow ended up against the wall and I realized what I was doing. I pushed him away and I felt the tears prick at the corners of my eyes, threatening to spill. My emotions were all over the place, one step to telling Luke how I really feel and how much I want to stay, but also one step to buying an early plane ticket and leaving as soon as I can.
I decided to go with the unsaid middle choice and only giving him a little glance before leaving the room to where I was before, on a couch with my friends who didn't want to play with my feelings, but as I looked at him I felt something. I looked at him and he looked happy for the first time since I left, genuinely happy. He was smiling and that familiar adoration in his eyes were directed at me, and not anybody else, only me. I liked that, but it terrified me. I'm going to have to leave and this will only start again.
The next words he said sent me flying out of not just the room but the house, as I was looking at him he held my hand and smiled even bigger if possible and said three simple words that sent me over the edge I love you.
My eyes widen and I pull my hand away, making the smile on his face fade back to the confused and hurt expression he's had the entire time I'm here. I'm hurting him and myself by being here and I can't stand it anymore. without a word I dart out of the room, then the house, and he tries to chase after me but by the time he catches up to me I'm hidden behind the corner of the street, I can see him but he can't see me. I see him put his hands in his hair and let out a groan like he does when things don't go his way before making his way back inside.
I face forward with my back pressed against the wall of whoevers house this is and I let out a long sigh, which I start crying in the middle of. As the tears fall and little chokes leave my throat I slide down the brick wall and wonder to myself what am I doing.