As Long As Forever

CHAPTER 16: As Long As Forever

NAGKUNWA siyang walang naririnig. She didn't look back no matter how much she wanted to. She was hoping he'd leave her alone. He's not supposed to see her like this, weak and pathetic!

Napayakap siya ng mahigpit sa sarili nang muling umihip ang malamig na hangin. And then she felt something in her shoulders. Gino is putting his coat on her.

"Take it off, I don't need it," matigas na sabi niya't umiwas kahit nangangatal na siya sa lamig.

"You're cold," anito at ipinagpilitang ipatong ang coat nito sa kabila ng pagtanggi niya.

Please leave... tahimik na dasal niya. Because she doesn't know if she can still hold herself. She hates him so much for causing all these silly feelings she feels right now. For tearing down the wall she built for the past years so easily. For unmasking the broken person that she really is. She felt young and naive and vulnerable and so confused again. For all the while since the moment she saw him, she wanted to hold him, to hug him tight and never let go. That was the craziest thought she had and she doesn't know how long will she still be able to control herself.

Walang salitang tumabi ito sa kaniya. She wanted to run. But she doesn't want to give Gino the impression that he can still affect her. Pasimple niyang pinahid ang luha at pilit pinatatag ang sarili. She just have to wait for him to leave. Even when her insides are trembling because he is just inches away from her, she won't be the first one to leave that place.

Namagitan sa kanila ang katahimikan. Wala silang ibang naririnig kundi ang mabining paghampas ng alon sa dalampasigan at ang kanilang salitang paghinga. Mushroom tried to breathe evenly.

"I missed you." He finally broke the silence.

Now, that's too much. She isn't ready for this. Her feet are shaking. At alam niyang hindi dahil sa ginaw iyon. Gino still has the power over her and she can't stand long enough to prove he doesn't matter to her. She gave up. Mabilis siyang tumalikod para tumakbo palayo rito pero tila nabasa nito ang iniisip niya't hinawakan nito ang kamay niya. Kaagad siyang napapiksi dahil sa kuryenteng dumaloy sa katawan niya. She won't allow herself to betray her. Tinangka niyang bawiin ang kamay pero mas lalo pa nitong hinigpitan ang pagkakahawak sa kanya. Ganoon na lang ang lakas ng tibok ng puso, tila lalabas na iyon sa dibdib niya. Every beat actually hurts.

"Let me go!" sigaw niya.

Pero sa halip na bitiwan siya'y isinalikop nito ang isang braso sa balikat niya at niyakap siya mula sa likuran. Mahigpit. At kahit anong pagpupumilit niyang makawala, hindi niya kayang makaalis sa matitipunong bisig nito. Napasinghap siya. She felt his hard body pressed on to hers. She felt his warmth. She felt his heartbeat which was as fast as her own. He burried his jaw at the corner of her neck and she could hardly breathe.

"I missed you, Mushroom. I know I don't have the right to say these things to you after being silent for all those years. But still, I miss you. At kahit ngayong kausap kita, kahit hawak-hawak na kita, I still miss you so much."

It was then that Mushroom's tears fell again. Mas hinigpitan nito ang yakap sa kanya na tila ba takot itong mawala siya. And her strength to resist him died right away.

"You missed me too, didn't you?" It sounded more like a plea. Pero hindi siya sumagot. Because she's fighting so much not to cry in front of him. She isn't the same high school girl he left ten years ago. She has to show that to him. She has to show how tough she had become when he left her. Pero muling iginupo ang anumang lakas na meron siya sa presensiya nito.

Lumuwag ang pagkakahawak nito sa kanya at pinaharap siya nito. Nagkaroon siya ng pagkakataong makawala at tumakbo. Pero alam niyang oras na kumawala siya sa pagkakahawak nito'y matutumba siya. Her whole body is shaking. Nanatili siyang nakayuko. Takot siyang tingnan ito. Takot siyang mabasa nito ang nasa loob niya nang mga sandaling iyon. Naramdaman niya ang kamay nito sa baba niya at unti-unting itinaas ang mukha. At hindi niya magawang tumutol. Hindi niya kayang umiwas. Hilam ang mga matang napatingin siya rito. And for the first time in a long long time, she looked at him. The moonlight shone in his face. Though it has changed, it was still the same face Mushroom loved for so long. When she met his gaze, a deep longing struck her heart. And she could not lie. She missed him. So much. It's almost unbearable.