As Long As Forever

CHAPTER 23: As Long As Forever

BE STRONG... aniya sa sarili sabay kuyom ng kamao. He should not look as pathetic as he already is especially in front of Mushroom. Marahas niyang pinahid ang luhang kumawala sa mga mata niya.

"You have to talk," anang Mommy niya.

"There's no need," aniya na pinatatag ang boses.

"You need to talk," muling sabi ng Mommy niya, mas diniinan nito ang bawat salita. "Mushroom bears your child," anito at iniwan silang dalawa.

Napapikit si Gino ng mariin. He kept swallowing that invisible lump. Mushroom shouldn't have come. Because it will be twice as hard letting her go this time.

NAMAGITAN sa kanila ang katahimikan. Mushroom could see how messy the place is. Nagkalat ang brush at pintura. Gino looked like a mess too. His clothes are crumpled and full of paint and dirt. He looked so miserable that her heart ached. She wants nothing but to wrap him in his arms. She missed him... so much. A day without him felt like a year. And now, she is finally close to him again. Hindi niya napigilan ang pagpatak ng luhang kanina pa namumuo sa paligid ng mata niya.

"You lied to my, Mom," galit na sabi nito at hinarap siya. Bahagya itong natigilan nang makitang lumuluha siya. "Didn't you understand my letter? I need to be alone. You have to go back home. Now."

Nangangatal ang labi niya. She felt relieved seeing him now. She wants to go straight into his arms and hug him tight. But seeing that look in his eyes prevented her from doing so. She could see anger, fear, resentment, frustration in his eyes. It should be enough to make her step back. But she will not leave. Not without Gino. "I'm not going anywhere but here with you. If I should go home, then you should come with me."

"Oh, please, Mushroom, don't make this hard for both of us," tila nahihirapang sambit nito.

"Am I the one making this hard, Gino?" aniyang hindi napigilan ang pagpiyok ng boses. "Stop pushing me away. I told you I'm not going anywhere but here!"

"I don't want you here," mariing sabi nito.

"Liar," aniya na pilit iwinaksi ang hapdi na nararamdaman ng dibdib sa salitang binitiwan nito. "You want me! And you need me as much as I need you. Stop fighting about this. You are only hurting us both," aniyang napahikbi. "Do I really have to beg just to be with you, Gino?"

Nangalit ang bagang nitong nakatitig sa kanya. Pagkuwa'y tumulo ang luha at walang salitang tinawid ang espasyo sa pagitan nila't niyakap siya ng mahigpit. Kinagat niya ang labi para pigilan ang sariling mapahagulhol.

"Oh, please, Mush..." Napabuga ito ng hininga. "Please stop crying. It makes me feel sick."

"Then stop pushing me away," aniyang napayakap din dito ng mahigpit. Isinubsob niya ang ulo sa dibdib nito at doon umiyak. Saglit walang nagsalita sa kanila. "I missed you so much, do you know that?" aniyang halos hindi kumawala sa bibig. "I was so afraid I won't be able to see you again. Parang hindi ko makakayanan yung sakit. I can't believe you really left me!"

"I did what I think was right. And my thought about that doesn't change. It won't be easy being with me, Mush. It's better we say our goodbye's now before the hurt goes deeper. I'm only saving you from hurting. It will be better if-"

Hinarap niya ang kasintahan at tinitigan ito. "Stop telling me what's better. I'd rather have the worst with you than all the best without. Hindi ako magiging masaya kapag hindi kita kasama. And I know that you feel the same. We are in this together, Gino." buong diing sabi niya.

His tears flowed again saka dahan-dahan siyang binitiwan. "Do you have any idea about my illness, Mush?" anitong bakas sa mukha ang paghihirap na nasa dibdib. "I have a tumor inside my brain. If I go to surgery, I have 30% of survival. If I don't go to surgery, I'll have few months to live. Do you understand that? In either way, I could die! So I know what is better for both us. It is better that we say goodbye now."