As Long As Forever

CHAPTER 19: As Long As Forever

MUSHROOM couldn't bring herself to calm down. Ilang sandali na ang lumipas at hindi pa rin matigil-tigil ang iyak niya. Hindi niya maiwasang mag-alala kay Gino. Hinagilap niya ang cellphone. She desperately needs someone to talk to.

"What seems to be the problem?" ani Betchy nang mapagbuksan niya ang mga ito.

Hindi siya makapagsalita. Napayakap siya kaagad dito.

"Si Gino-" aniyang tuluy-tuloy ang pagbagsak ng luha.

"He's with Jordan, Mush. You don't need to worry," ani Dinah.

Pakiramdam niya'y nabunutan siya ng tinik sa dibdib sa narinig.

"Omigosh, Mush, ngayon lang kita nakitang umiyak, ever!" anito na tila hindi makapaniwalang napatingin sa kanya. Iginiya siya ng dalawa na maupo. Pinilit niyang pinakalma ang sarili. Ramdam pa rin niya ang hapdi sa dibdib lalo na kung maaalala niya ang mukha ni Gino habang binibitiwan ang mga salitang ayaw niyang paniwalaan.

"You're in love with Gino," halos magkapanabay na bulong ng mga ito.

"No-" agarang tanggi niya pero binara siya kaagad ni Dinah.

"Come off it. Hindi mo kailangang magdeny. It's all over your face. Since last night, you've always had your eyes on Gino." deklara nito. "Now, tell us what happened."

Pigil ang sariling mapahikbi, ikinuwento niya sa mga ito ang matagal na niyang itinago sa dibdib. She admitted how she fell in love with Gino, how she waited, and how confused she is right now that he's back confessing that he loves her still. For the first time, she shared what she truly felt to the two persons she trusted most because she can't seem to bear the hurt. And her bestfriends seemed lost for words for a while and did nothing but hugged her and cried with her.

"I just knew there was something between the two of you," ani Dinah. "Kasi noon pa man, kahit inis na inis ka doon sa tao saka kulang na lang ipa-salvage mo, you care for him. We felt how sad you were when Gino left. We were just waiting that you'd tell us."

"When he left, you were also gone," mahinang sabi ni Betchy at malungkot na ngumiti. "You were totally changed. You always fake smiles and laughters. We understood it, Mush. Because we fell in love, too. And there are just hurts that we tend to ignore because they tend to be unbearable when we begin to recognize them. Though in those years we wished we could've done something to lessen the pain."

Hindi siya makapaniwalang napatingin sa dalawa. Hilam ang luhang napasubsob siya sa balikat ni Betchy habang nakahawak ng mahigpit ang isang kamay kay Dinah. All along, she thought she hid it well. All along, she thought she suffered alone. Pakiramdam niya'y nabawasan ang bigat ng dibdib niya.

"I thought I could keep it to myself... I didn't want you to know because I even denied it myself."

"It's alright, Mush," ani Dinah. "Gino's here now. You can stop hurting. Kailangan mo lang siyang tanggapin ulit sa buhay mo para maging masaya ka, gaya ng dati."

"H-Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko." parang batang sabi niya. "I still can't forgive him for leaving me. He just neglected me."

Nakakaunawang tumango ito. "I can't seem to understand why he ignored you for the past years. But I am quite sure he has his reason, Mush. Maybe deeper than the most acceptable reason. We don't know. It's all up to you if you let yourself listen. Just follow your heart. It always leads you to happiness. Learn to let go of all the fears and pains."

"Huwag mong pakawalan ang pagkakataong maging masaya," dagdag ni Betchy. "Love is all about taking risks, Mush. When you let love move you, all the pains and hurts will be gone. When you love, you can face everything because love surpasses all things."