As Long As Forever

CHAPTER 18: As Long As Forever

MALAKAS niyang itinulak si Gino at mabilis na tinakbo ang silid at ini-lock iyon. Napahawak siya sa dibdib. Tila lalabas na ang puso niya sa lakas ng kabog niyon. Maghunus-dili ka! galit na sabi niya sa sarili. Nagpalakad-lakad siya sa loob ng silid. Hindi pa rin siya makapaniwala sa bilis ng pangyayari. She's too tensed. She can't think straight. Iwinasiwas niya ang kamay sa ere para mawala lahat ng iniisip niya. Pero hindi pa rin niya magawang kumalma.

Gino just proposed to her. He proposed! In less than 24 hours being together, he asked her to marry him. At heto siya ngayon, parang hilong talilong nag-iikot sa silid niya dahil hindi siya makapaniwala sa narinig. Eversince Gino came, he took all the serenity she used to live in. Alright, she really needs to calm down. She needs some time alone. She needs to think.

She has to pacify herself. And think.

Pero ano pa ba ang dapat niyang pag-isipan? For goodness sake, why is she so thrilled about the proposal? She knew better. Mas makabubuting umiwas siya kay Gino kung ayaw niyang masaktan pa. She should not risk herself again. Sapat na ang sampung taong paghihirap niya. He made her fall for him but he wasn't able to catch her, which left her broken in pieces. He had his chance. But he chose to hurt her. He chose to ignore her for a very long time. And now he's suddenly back, telling her he loves her? No amount of reasoning could make her forgive him for abandoning her. And she won't believe in a crap as "sinaktan-kita-dahil-ayaw-kong-masaktan-ka" kind of reasoning. Because that is plain stupid. Dahil kung inisip ni Gino, kahit minsan lang kung ano ang maaari niyang maramdaman noon, he wouldn't leave her hanging. If he loved her, he won't let her wait. He would've called even once. He would have felt how lonely she had been without him and how much she had been missing him every single day. But he left her with nothing but a broken promise.

Naglandas ang luha sa mga mata niya. She didn't want to remember any of those things that hurt her anymore. Pero bumabalik ang lahat ng iyon ngayon at hindi niya alam kung papano mawawala ang sakit. She was transported to the time when she felt young and helpless again.

So, no... She isn't letting him in her life again. She has to take control of her own feelings. Hinding-hindi na niya hahayaan ang sariling masaktan muli.

NAPATITIG si Gino sa nakapinid na pinto ng silid ng dalaga. He was too fast, wasn't he? Napasabunot siya sa sariling buhok. Sira na naman ang diskarte niya. Kailan ba siya matututo? Kita niya ang pagkabigla sa mukha ng kababata, may takot at galit din siyang nabanaagan sa mata nito. Napabuntong-hininga siya. He just hoped Mushroom won't get away from him. The good thing and the only thing that gives him hope is he didn't hear her say NO. Pinasadahan niya ng huling tingin ang silid ng kababata pagkuwa'y dumiretso sa sariling silid para makaligo't makagayak. He'll think of ways to make up with Mushroom later.

Katatapos lang niyang magbihis nang mag-ring ang cellphone niya. Si Dianne. Sinagot niya kaagad iyon.

"Do you have a minute? I'm right outside your cottage."

"Give me a sec." aniya saka mabilis na lumabas ng silid.

"Patched things up already?" bungad ni Dianne sa kanya.

Nagkibit-balikat siya. "She hates me," amin niya.

"Giving up now?" anito na anyong babatukan siya.

Ngumiti siya. "Never."

"That's the spirit. I'm sure she'll understand as soon as she hears your side."

"I hope so, Dianne. I can't wait for that to happen."

"It will happen anytime soon," she assured him. "I'm just dropping off your key," anitong iniabot ang susi ng BMW niya.

Umiling siya. "Use it."