Him Again (boyxboy)

Chapter 8

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Him Again

Chapter 8

(Nick's POV)

Tears continued to roll over my cheeks from my eyes like some sort of river that never stops flowing with fresh water. I can feel that my eyes started to swell and I can't control my heavy sobbing. I don't even know what to do now after the incident at the park. I somehow felt hurt. I somehow felt broken.

I kept on wondering if the mix of emotions is even possible. What I am feeling now is a mixture of anger, hurt, sadness, frustration, and hatred. The most dominant one among these emotions was the last one, hatred. I don't even know who I am right now just because of the flow of emotions.

But I have only one thing that I know is certain and accurate, it the hatred that I felt for myself. I hated myself for expecting too much to a person whom I had thought would give back my feelings towards him just because of a.....one drunken night incident.

My sobbing grew louder as the thought of what had happened to us that night was just a result of a stupid alcoholic endeavor. All of the events during the night kept on flashing right before my eyes as I remembered the things that I know would change everything, everything including our friendship.

Speaking of friendship, I know that I had risk the precious thing that I and Skylar had built up ever since when we were young. But, I can't keep myself entangled on the wires with the word friendship when something keeps on cutting these wires using a scissor with the word love. I had risked it and I know that it was the best risk I had done so far. At least now I know my part. I can risk friendship towards whoever it is just to achieve love. I am that desperate and I am not changing any of my decision to keep that philosophy of mine in mind.

I felt new to this feeling and I can't control my desire to do all the possible negative and worst scenarios that kept popping on my head. These scenarios involved those that were done by most of the desperate heartbroken persons.

I am now declaring myself as an epitome of a friend-zoned desperate heartbroken person. If I were on my right mind right now, I probably had chuckled or even had laughed from the sudden declaration but I am not. I felt very naïve now that I felt this strange feeling. All I could feel was that all my cells felt numb that it stops receiving all the medium that makes it react.

I stopped as I reached a familiar neighborhood. I continued my pace and walked on the tracks towards our house. As I got closer, I immediately grab the door's handle and went inside after unlocking it. The whole house was on dead silence and I can't barely hear anything that made my sobbing clear to my ear.

I sprinted immediately towards my room and locked it. I slid down on the door with my backpack falling beside my lap. I continued to sob until I felt that tears had been drained from my eyes.

Minutes had past and I was still on my sitting position looking at the window that faced parallel to where I was sitting. I flipped my legs and hugged it tightly. The tears had now ceased from falling. I think I am now done with it.

I stood up and went lazily to my bed. I put my backpack near the study table. I slid out from my current outfit and changed immediately to a pair of shirt and jogging pants. I fetched on my phone to check on the time and noticed that it was already early in the evening. The screen of my phone screams 6:34 pm. I looked at the window and noticed that the sky was already dark. Well, I didn't notice that earlier.

I looked at my phone for about a few minutes expecting for it to beep or something. Was I expecting for Skylar to call me and explain? Well, I am. But there is no need for explaining since it is really evident that he was happy together with that girl. I can feel that another tear threatens to fall but it didn't. I guess I was just really drained with tears right now.