Race Track of Love

RTOL 27

Chapter 27

I felt like a bucket of ice was poured down on me.

I need space. But I don't feel like wanting space.

I need time. But I don't feel like wanting time.

I wasn't sure how to react.

It is not a small thing. It bothers me—much. It angers me. It frustrates me. My world drowned in a matter of seconds.

My jaw tightened and didn't say anything, I just ran away leaving mom.

How did that happen?

Why are all these happening when everything started to fall into place?

I felt numb but still running as fast as I can. I even don't know how I exited the room and I was finally alone while inevitable tears are rolling down. I could no longer hear the words and noises on my surroundings.

Reaching my Lamborghini starring on the parking lot, my body started to refuse to feel anything. I didn't waste any time to slide on the driver's seat. Yanking on the gas made me feel free but it doesn't changed the fact that Marcus, the man that I love so much is happened to be my brother.

"Marc is your brother." That line crosses into my mind over and over again since mom spilled the beans. Inevitable tears rolling down. I don't know what to do. I wanted to jump out of the car leaving the wheels to wake myself up wishing that all these were just a nightmare—but nothing will change.

I slowed along the streets of New York. Not many people walk down the streets drunk, even in the middle of the night. They usually rush along the sidewalks and cross the streets, trying to race with time to earn more money.

Trying to keep myself smile, I looked around, wondering why these people wore poker faces as they talked on their phones while walking briskly down the street. I was thankful—well, as what I should call it. I took a deep breath as I yanked on the gas realizing all people are racing with time for their love. Really, love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, only with what you are expecting to give—which is everything.

Tears came to near. The lump on my throat became bigger. I couldn't manage to hold it. After a little while, I urged to stop near a curb. The wheel became my companion at this time, resting my head and locking my arms around it had comforted me for a while.

My eyes closed, but the tears continued streaming down my cheeks.

"This can't be! It can't be!" I squealed, launching my palms on the wheel. "I hate you, mom." I breathed deeply.

How I wanted to know about it also made me shiver up to my spine the fear that I am not a Demonteverde.

I was about to turn the engine to life again when my phone on the passenger seat started to ring. I gave it a glance, it was mom calling. I ignored it. It rang again, and I ignored for the second time. I didn't wait for the third ring when the phone flew on the dashboard. I didn't mention that it doesn't have a feature that it can flew by itself, of course.

The engine started to roar and I drove—alone and in the edge of darkness. Yes, darkness.

I felt like I was a pawn being passed around from one square to another and I don't know when am I gonna be taken out of the chess board. It was very confusing and I could not think of a way in which I could end up safe or even alive after this was through. They're killing me softly—day after day. I don't know who I am going to trust. My life is like a rosary that is full of mystery. Not kidding.

Is it my fault to think that way after all what happened?

Escaping from everything, I just drove stepping on the gas hard. They're looking for me, I was sure of that. I had acted too impulsively but you can't blame me, I am the victim here, me and Marcus. We just loved with a love that was more than a love. But now, I can't love him even if I already did—I love him so much. Life is just so unfair.