Race Track of Love

RTOL 28

Chapter 28

I glanced at my phone, it was 4 in the morning.

Now, that I know everything. I don't know what will come up next.

I took a deep breath. I have second thoughts to do this.

Am I going to do the right thing?

I hope so. I am, I was sure of that.

I know Marc was still having his deep sleep. And it's not good to disturb anyone at this hour. I hate to wake him up to say goodbye. I peeked at Jodie sleeping before I left. I'll tell her anytime soon.

I crossed the room, coming up beside Marc feeling triumphant that I didn't make any noise. Don't be surprised I have keys because we obliged to have duplicates to each other's unit.

As if on instinct, a tear leaks down from my eye as I stare at him sleeping. The sting on my eyes went back again.

He was half-naked, on his boxers, and covered with sheets. I know what he wears when he sleeps. It flashed on me the night he asked me for Ramen—the night he became my knight.

He gave a slight move. No, I cannot let him see me this way. I absolutely hate crying but the tears was just flowing. Crying is weakness and I hate being weak. I wiped those tears with the back and palm of my hands.

I moved carefully not to wake him up to leave. This was the hard part—to feign like nothing happened.

"Hey," he said softly, he was still so sleepy. "Just got home?" He took a deep breath. "Wait, what time is it, love? Where's your mom?" And then he realized, I have a gauze on my head. "Hey, what happened?"

I covered my mouth, forcing a smile. He was about to jump out but I was able to stop him. "Just a few stitches, love. Go back to sleep. Nothing to worry about me, way too far from the intestines. It's just a few stitches."

He placed his arm around me, then making tiny circles on my arms to my shoulders. I expect myself to pull away but when I didn't, he moved in closer, his hands smoothing over my shoulders, and in my mind I saw myself retreating and saying a prayer a million times.

I let Marc pull me against him, pressing my head against his chest, where I could felt his heart beating, steady and true.

I don't know how long I was there, still. It could be seconds or minutes. I only knew that this is the first and last time I lay beside him.

"Let's sleep." His voice tickled my ears, slowly covering me with sheets and pressing me tightly against him.

I stole a look at him while trying to pull myself away. From his eyes, to his pointed nose, then to his kissable lips. I felt something ache in my chest, and suddenly I knew what was going to happen. I held it and swallowed hard a big lump on my throat.

I'm not going to cry. I already filled a tank of tears today. I said to myself.

"I, um," I said and I could feel him watching me. "Whatever happens, I love you."

"I love you more."

"I love you most," I ended it, then he planted a kiss on my forehead which is my weakest spot. "Could you imagine a life without me?" I asked out of the blue. I caught him surprised. "I mean, what if this never happened?"

"Why were you asking that?" His manly voice rose suddenly.

"Nothing, it's just that—"

I didn't finish when he barged. "What?" We remained silent for a minute or two. "I won't lose you. Okay? Not going to happen—never." I just felt his arms tighter around me like he was afraid that something precious to him that he has taken care of since he was born might disappear. "I won't let that happen," he assured. Guilt started to stab me.

He fell asleep that fast. His soft snore made him sexier when he's asleep. It wasn't easy to unwrap me in his arms but I did, slowly and surely.

Before I opened the door of his room and hopped out, I eased a pillow on his elbow, careful not to wake him up.

When I arrived at the car, mom didn't mind to ask what took me so long. She'd figured it out, I thought. We arrived at the airport earlier than I expected, his driver made sure of that. None of us cracked the stretching silence until we reached California. I wasn't expecting an early come back despite the advantage of having a private plane.

It was another awkward silence, during which I, and everyone else just stared out at the rain. Gradually, though, I became aware of someone sighing heavily. Then clearing her throat, repeatedly. We were just a few more blocks away to our humble abode as what they may call it.

"Are you okay?" my mother asked.

I ignored her, tucking a piece of hair in my ear. I was tired.

To my surprise, my mother went with no argument. That's when I realized that I have to hop out of the car. We're finally home. She didn't turn around. Carlo ushered me. I wasn't even sure she knew I was tailing her. I went upstairs to where I am sure where she rushed.

I took care of my footsteps not to make any noise, one step at a time just like a thief. I could barely become one. Then, I realized the door was not fully closed. I stepped closely, just a foot away from the door and I leaned on the walls. I couldn't see anything until I pushed a finger then it allowed me to see my mother caging my father with her arms along his length.

"Everything's going to be fine, sweetheart. Okay? Now that she knows, truth will free us out of the cell. It tortures me a lot, every single day of my life," he stated, throwing an arms to her as a respond to her embrace.

She was standing and he was on his wheelchair. And she was crying, her shoulders shaking. Then, he's there to comfort her.

"I'm afraid she will run away again. I can't afford to lose our princess, again."

"No, she won't. Everything's going to be fine." He cupped her face.

I know that listening to private conversations obviously isn't right but it concerns me—a lot. It's about me. It's our family. It was no wonder they'd reacted by pulling me closer, forcibly narrowing my world back to fit inside their own which I am not supposed to. No matter how many are against you. Remember, a plane can take off with the wind against it.

The sound of it immediately brought a lump on my throat, and I wanted to turn and run. But instead, I took a deep breath and stepped inside. I was going to take this moment.

I crossed the room, coming up behind them. I had so many things to tell my father and my mother. I just didn't know where to begin.

Finally, my mother turned around and dad recomposed himself. They were both surprised. For a second, we're just staring at each other. A million sentences were formed in my head, then left off. Whatever was said next started everything, so it had to be strong enough to carry the rest that would follow.

Mom took a breath. "I'm—"

But I didn't let her finish. Instead, I took one step forward and slid my arms around her. She stiffened, at first surprised, but I didn't pull back, moving in even more and burying my face in her shoulder. At first, I didn't feel her arms around me, her body moving in to enclose mine. I could feel her breath in my hair, her heart against my chest. After all this time, it could have been awkward, all elbows and hipbones. But it wasn't. It was perfect when both of us enclosed dad.

"I don't know how to thank you, dad. I love you, dad." I smacked a kiss on his forehead.

For once, I'd just let them know exactly how I feel without thinking first.

Dad hissed and said, "Family isn't always blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile and who love you no matter what. I love you, too."

This had been the life I'd wanted which I also get rid of it for years just for the name of racing. Even chosen.

The pause that followed was long enough that I started to think maybe, just maybe, that everything will be smooth sailing and I can be able to move on.