Erica Black~Never Enough (1)

14

by the end of the term, everyone had returned to the house and we were all celebrating Christmas together, or so I thought...

today, the 25th of December, is Christmas day. we never really 'did' Christmas. ever. but I guess I kind of hoped that this year would be different, and it was, just not for me. no one gave me a gift or called me down to Christmas dinner, I suppose I hoped that for one day, they could at least pretend to like me but I don't think Christmas miracles happen for people like me...

I watched from the  door ways as everyone gathered together and ate, laughed, chatted and gave without even shredding a tear and I must say, I was so proud of myself for not crying but I was still upset.big time. my dad, my own father, I mean I knew he didn't care but even for him this is new low. I had to watch my own father having a lovely, happy, perfect Christmas, with everyone and anyone who isn't me...

whilst they were celebrating, I chose to, instead, go to my attic, I sat there and read the book 'Private Peaceful', a gorgeous war time book about a boy from the country, I loved it and read it several times over the course of the day. I did however, receive one gift, from Charlie, a new book and a plushy dragon, I haven't received a soft toy in years but now that I have, I understand the comfort children get from them, I love it so much and I never want to let it go... no one hugs me, not really, apart from Charlie and sometimes Remus but not often. considering that Charlie lives in Romania and Remus is nearly always busy with Order work, I don't get many hugs at all, the gift was considerate and god knows I needed it.

sitting here, on my bed, with my gift from Charlie held close to my chest, I sob. I let out all the pent up emotion of the last twenty-four hours, my stomach gurgles furiously and my brain pounds against my skull in a similar fashion to the way my heart does against my rib cage. my back against the wall of the attic as I watch the snow cascade behind the dusty glass of the ancient window.by bed, I meant the old mattress I found in one of the cupboards and brought up to the attic in the middle of the night, I also managed to find an old pillow and blanket. basically, I'm living on the streets of my own house, I'm homeless inside the walls of my own home.

I curl into the worn mattress and envelope myself in the warm embrace of the comforter with my face snuffling into the dragon. I feel like a small child again, like when I was five or six,  a bout a year after dad left when I was five but way before Remus found me when I was ten, I used to camp out up here with my old bedding which I would persuade Kreature to bring up for me...

finally, I fall asleep to the steady shower of snow through the window and the quiet buzz of the party downstairs.

Remus's P O V

at about eleven pm, I looked around the crowded living room,

Molly, Arthur, Kingsley, Mad eye and Severus (who had popped round last minute) were discussing Order business, Ginny, Hermione, Ron and Tonks, are laughing together and Harry and Sirius are sitting together in the corner laughing, it makes me feel sad for Erica... ERICA!!!! how could I forget?! I excuse myself from the room before charging up the stairs, poking my head round every door I pass without any luck. eventually, I get to the attic, I find her, but its not good. she's curled up with a stuffed toy and a tear stained face on a thin mattress with a tatty blanket barely covering her, she looks such a state...

I cant believe everyone, even I forgot her, and on Christmas non the less! she's had no food all day and she was probably watching us half the time...

I kneel down besides her body and shake her, her eyes inch open but she buries her face deeper into the fabric of the toy... dragon? Charlie! of course! I pick Erica up and lean her bony body against my chest. I cant imagen how she must feel. alone on Christmas, surrounded by dozens of people...