5SOS Imagines vol. 2

Suicide/Suicide Attempt-CH

TRIGGER WARNING!!!! This might hit home pretty hard for a couple of you.

QOTD: what's the hardest thing you've had to do? Remember guys! This is a judgement free zone. And f you don't feel comfortable answering, it's okay.

AOTD: probably having to go through a relationship with someone who was a drug addict and only pretended to love me.

HIS POV

Dear Calum,

I am sorry you have to read this, and if you are, it means I am gone. I'm sorry for everything. I know I was a terrible girlfriend. I know I suck, and I couldn't take it anymore. I was never good enough for anyone, anything, and never will be. I love you, that is true and always will be. But I couldn't go on being the person that I am now. I'm sorry.

Love, (y/n).

I stared at the paper that had (y/n)'s handwriting on it. Finally when I was able to register what it was, I ran up to the bathroom as fast as I could. I swung the door open with great force and found my beautiful girlfriend on the floor, blade to her arm.

"(y/n)!" I rushed to grab the blade from her hand. She hadn't gotten to cut her arm, but the blade grazed it and there was a small trickle of blood. I threw the blade across the room and picked (y/n) up in my arms. "What the hell were you thinking?!"

"Why did you stop me?"

"I'm not going to let you kill yourself," I said as tears began to fall from my eyes.

"I'm worthless, and useless, and fat, and stupid, and a piece of shit that just takes up space. You would have been better without me." She sounded exhausted as she spoke.

"(y/n), did you take anything before you came in here?"

"Just some sleeping pills to make it easier."

"No, no, no. I'm taking you to the hospital. You're having your stomach pumped."

"Calum, just let me die," she whispered.

"Not a chance, baby girl." I picked her up and rushed her to my car. I drove as fast as I could to the hospital.

They took her almost immediately. She had to stay for a few hours after for observation to make sure that they had gotten all of it out of her. I never left her side.

Our drive home was silent. (y/n) just stared blankly out the window. When we got back to the house, she went straight for the bedroom. I followed her and found her laying down, her back towards me. I sat down next her.

"Why didn't you let me do it?" She asked. Her voice still sounded like she was exhausted.

"Why do you think?"

"You should have just left me, Calum. I'm better off dead. You're better off with me dead. I have no purpose in living."

"You know damn well that is not true. (y/n), I love you and I don't know what I'd do without you. You're my rock. You're my strength and my weakness. I couldn't bear to lose you." I pulled her close to me and held her tight.

"I hate myself, Calum. And no matter what I do, I can't seem to make things right. Everything I touch turns to dust."

"Look, I know how you feel. Everyone goes through something like this. Some may not go to the same extent you did, but it happens. And you need to know that I am here for you. If you ever feel you are slipping down that path again, you come straight to me no matter what I'm doing. I love you for you and everything you do, say, and care about."

"It's just so hard..."

"I know, baby, but we will get through it together."

"I love you, Calum."

"I love you, too, Princess. Now get some rest and I will make breakfast for us in the morning." I said and kissed her head softly as she fell into a much needed sleep.

a/n: Oh my god this fucking sucks. I am so sorry you had to read this shitty imagine aha...

love you guys.