5SOS Imagines vol. 2

Help... AI

YOUR POV

My arm stung. The wounds were fresh and were covered by my long sleeve. It was nearly summer and I was still wearing sweaters. I think Ashton was starting to get suspicious. I wore them, and got hot, so I'd roll up the sleeve on my right arm only. Ashton always gave me a weird look whenever I did. Like he knew I was hiding something.

So here I am today sitting on the couch, bearing the stinging pain that has taken over the underside of my left arm. I wore my maroon sweater, and a pair of shorts. As usual, I had one sleeve up. Ashton had been busy doing song writing, so I haven't really seen him today. I normally let him be when he's in a writing mood because I don't want to ruin the flow.

Ashton and I had been dating for almost two years, and we just recently decided to move in with each other. We've been in our home for about three months. It was a nice place. Small, but roomy. It had a lovely yard too.

Two years of being together and I still haven't had the guts to tell him about my self harming. I've done a really good job keeping it from him too. Which is all the more reason why I think he's grown suspicious.

Ashton found his way into the living room and sat down with me. I didn't look up at him.

"Hey, babe," he said.

"Hi," I replied.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"Aren't you warm in that sweater? It's like, ninety-five degrees outside."

"No. I'm fine," I giggled slightly to cover it. "It's comfy."

Ashton gave me a weird look. "You wanna go in the spa?"

I looked at him. I totally forgot we had a spa.

"No, I'm okay."

"We have had that spa since the day we moved in, and I don't think I have ever seen you in it."

"Maybe that's because I go in when you're not home."

"(y/n), I'm done playing this game."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, slight panic in my voice.

"Lift up your sleeve, (y/n)," he said. I looked down in my lap. I didn't respond, and I didn't do as he said. I just played with the hem of the sweater. "(y/N)," he said my name sternly. He moved closer and picked up my left hand. I retracted quickly.

"Don't," I said, my voice soft.

"Why not?"

"Because there's nothing to see," I said blankly.

"Then if there is nothing to see, you won't mind if I have a look."

"Actually, I would mind a lot."

"Stop hiding from me, (y/n)." He took my hand again, but his grip was too strong for me to get out of. He rolled up the sleeve and stared at the fresh wounds I had on my wrist. He looked up at me. His eyes weren't filled with tears, but I could see the hurt in them. "Why," he asked. "Why on earth would you do this to yourself? Why didn't you come to me?" I sniffled and shook my head. "(y/n), please answer me." His voice was soft and sympathetic.

I shook my head again. "I hate myself, Ashton. I hate every part of me. I'm not good enough for anyone. And I see the stupid models in magazines, and I see my perfect friends and its like they're all mocking me. I can't take it anymore. I just don't want to be here. I have no purpose in this world, so I have no point in living."

Ashton sighed and said, "You know that is not fucking true. I know for a fact you are good enough. You're good enough for me. Better than good enough. You might not view yourself as perfect, but that's okay. No body is perfect. And I can guarantee you that none of your friends are perfect. You do have a purpose on this planet. Your purpose is to be the best you can be, and to be with me. I love you, (y/n). More than words can explain. You do deserve to live. I need you. I love you so so much. I can't picture a world without you."

"I need help, Ash..." I whispered, almost inaudibly.

"I know, baby. And that is why I am here. I am here to help you through everything life throws at you. Even when I'm on tour, I'm just a phone call away. I'm here and I always will be. Please, please don't ever do this to yourself again. I don't think you understand how much it hurts me when you hurt yourself." I nodded my head slightly. "Come here," he said. He pulled me into his body, holding me close. I felt safe in his arms, and I felt free now that he knew my darkest secret.

"I love you, Ashton," I whispered softly.

"I love you more, (y/n)."