Dark and Dirty Like You've Never Seen

Redemption

I shifted uncomfortably on my feet as Gerard, Frank, Ray, and I stood in line at the coffee shop. I kept glancing at Gerard and feeling my stomach start to flip irrationally. I tried to control my erratic behavior and focus on my feet planted firmly on the tile. I saw Frank out of the corner of my eye, watching me fidget. He leaned back and whispered in my ear.

"Is everything okay?"

I nodded slightly, swallowing the lump in my throat. I saw his face soften, obviously not buying it.

"Tell me what you want. I'll get it so you can sit down."

"Oh, um ..." I fumbled around in my purse for my wallet while I thought of what I wanted. I felt his hand on my arm, stopping me from retrieving any money.

"I said I'd get it." He smiled at me until I sighed, letting my wallet fall back into my purse.

"I'll just take a white tea. Something fruity, preferably."

"Alright. You can pick a table. I'll come find you."

I nodded, turning to find a cozy table to sit at. I noticed Gerard had turned his ear to us, listening in on the conversation. I felt a bit of anger boil inside of me. Why can't he mind his own business? I thought to myself, then the memory of earlier surfaced, washing away my anger and quickly replacing it with embarrassment. I felt my face burn as I grabbed an open table by the door. I think I subconsciously wanted to be close to an escape route. I couldn't escape from the conversation I had heard, though. I thumbed a loose thread on my purse, mulling over the idea. I really had no reason to be angry at Gerard.

It's then I realized that I wasn't angry. I was using my anger to mask the true emotion I was feeling - for Frank. I wanted to feel his hand on mine again. I wanted to feel his arms wrapped around me, his lips pressed to mine. I felt my head swarm with the idea of Frank and I. Together. Us. I wasn't angry at Gerard for making that assumption, I was embarrassed at the fact that maybe he didn't think we were, but he could see the look on my face and knew how I felt. Did he know how I felt? That's silly; he's not a mind reader I thought to myself. My stomach clenched. My feelings for Frank were incredibly strong. How can that be? I only just met him a few days ago. The moment I locked eyes with his the day he stumbled through the door, I felt something; Was it lust? Infatuation? Maybe more. I couldn't believe how far I'd let myself fall for a guy I knew so little about. I bit on my bottom lip and ripped the piece of thread off my bag. Get a hold of yourself, Angela!

I straightened up in my chair and sat my bag on the floor next to my feet. I folded my hands together on top of the table and looked up at the line to see how they were progressing. They were headed toward the table, drinks in hand. I looked across all their faces before lingering on Frank's. He smiled slowly at me, his lip ring glinting against the soft lighting. I felt my heart race and my palms began to feel clammy. I let out a slow, steady breath and felt my mouth pull up into a just as inviting smile. He sat the cup down in front of me before taking the seat next to me, Gerard and Ray sitting opposite of us. Frank casually threw his arm around my shoulder as he took a sip off his drink. He winced a little, probably from burning his tongue, but kept his composure. I smiled, taking the lid off of my cup, and placing the tea bag on it. I felt the heat of his arm as it grazed my back. I bit my lip and looked down in my lap. I had a sudden urge to rest my hand on his leg. I shot my head back up quickly and kept my hands busy by playing with the sleeve of my cup. Gerard was the first to speak up.

"So, how did you guys meet?" He nodded toward me and Frank. We looked at each other. I felt my face start to heat up, but, as usual, Frank was as calm as a cucumber. He gave me a wink before turning back to Gerard.

"St. Pat's. We had science together."

"Oh that's right. You transferred. How's that going? That's gotta suck being your senior year and all." Ray piped up. It was the most I had heard him say all day.