Dark and Dirty Like You've Never Seen

The L Word(s)

I sat impatiently on Frank’s bed. Gerard had dropped me off just moments before. I explained what Frank had said on the phone and that I had planned on going with his story to see what I could find out. Gerard said he would also do his best to find out what he could. I guess I could just ask him flat out and tell him I know he wasn’t there, but at the same time … I didn’t want to know. I figured if I could do it discreetly, it would hurt less when I found out where he really was. Maybe not. I’m not exactly sure. I wasn’t thinking straight. I had been pacing his room at first but realized I needed to calm down. So now, here I sit on his bed. Just waiting. Watching the clock on his bed side table click agonizingly slow with every passing second. I had picked up my phone and began blindly scanning through the random apps. The time on my phone just kept reminding me that he still wasn’t here. I groaned and laid my phone on the bed. That’s when I heard the front door swing open. I shot up off the bed and made my way to his bedroom door. I opened it just as he turned down the hall. He jumped when he saw me standing there.

“Shit, Angel! You scared me.”

“Sorry. I heard you come in. What took so long?” I tried my best, but my words were still clipped. He cocked an eyebrow at me but took a step forward and wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me to him.

“You know Gerard. He’s slow as fuck.” He smiled as he planted a kiss on my forehead. I swallowed the lump in my throat and forced a smile.

“I guess. So how’s the surprise coming?”

“Eh… just a few more tweaks and you should be able to see it.” He pulled away from me and wandered over to his bed, pulling the back pack out from under it and began throwing clothes in it for his moms. I had taken the liberty to pass some time by packing my bag while I waited on him. I wasn’t sure how to press him anymore on the issue. I bit on my lip as fumbled with the edge of my shirt. He turned around and I instantly plastered a smile on my face. He cocked his head to the side and frowned.

“Is everything ok? You seemed stress.” He threw his bag over his shoulder and walked over to me, running his hand gently through my hair. I sighed and leaned into his hand, closing my eyes. Why did this have to happen? Everything was going so well. We were getting along; we were more than better, actually. I had never met anyone like him before and actually thought that he might actually felt the same. I never thought the day would come where I would second guess that. I hated this feeling. I opened my eyes to see that he was still staring at me, waiting on an answer. I smiled and placed my hand over his pulling it off of my face and placing it by his side. I saw him freeze for a moment. Why? I dismissed this action.

“I’m fine. Just missed you, that’s all.”

He gave me a quick smile before taking a step back from me and stretching.

“Well we better get going, my mom expected us a half hour ago.”

And that was it. The conversation was dropped. He didn’t give any hint of something else. He actually didn’t give me anything noteworthy. I followed him out of the house and to the car. On our way there, I had slipped my phone out of my pocket when Frank appeared to be lost in the drive. I sent a quick message to Gerard. It simply said the word, “Nothing”. He would know what I meant. He didn’t reply but I saw that he had read my text. I tucked it back in my pocket and slummed back in the chair. I don’t know if Frank could feel it too or not but something felt different. The air around us was strained. Would it always feel like this? Even if I find out nothing happened? Will I always question him or where he is? I felt sick. I pulled my feet up in the seat with me and hugged them to my chest. We continued silently to his mom’s house.

We lay in his bed watching some show on TV. I was curled up next to him, my head lying on his chest. I felt a little better now. Frank and I had helped his mom make dinner and actually had fun. We laughed and joked around with his mom and she taught us how she made her famous sauce. Now full and kind of tired, we lay here watching whatever was on the TV. I leaned my head up to look at him. He glanced down at me and smiled sweetly. I felt my stomach flutter at his gaze. I was able to put aside my wandering thoughts for a moment and just stare at the boy that was mine. All mine. I leaned my head back down and trailed kisses along his chest. I felt his hand run through my hair, playing with the tendrils that lay sprawled across my shoulders. I revealed in his touch as even now it sent electricity through my body. He shifted on the bed so he was sitting up, my head resting in his lap. He looked at me like he was studying some grand painting; a look of wonder and confusion on his face. I stared back at him, returning his brooding gaze, making no attempt to move. He finally must have decided he liked what he saw because a smile crept on his lips, sweet and soft.