Dark and Dirty Like You've Never Seen

Regrets

I sat curled up in my bed under the covers. The tears had already dried on my face leaving my skin itchy and hard. I was sweating under my comforter, but I didn't want to come out. How long had I been under here? I reached down for my phone. The light was so bright compared to my dark room I had to squint my eyes. It was almost nine. I had been under here for almost three hours. My stomach hurt. I was hungry, but I just wanted to throw up. I decided to finally throw off my covers. The cool air hit me in icy comfort. My body shivered as the sweat began to cool me down. I got up and walked over to my closet flipping on the light. I pushed the door over to look in the mirror at myself. The light from the closet showed me the mess I was. Still in my uniform, my clothes were wrinkled and folded from laying on them for so long. My hair was tangled and sticking up in different directions, some of it to my face from the dried tears. I saved the worst for last. I slowly began to unbutton my shirt. I shrugged it off and finally got the first sight of the after math of the fight between my dad and me. A bruise on my shoulder from where I was drug upstairs, and a slight red mark on my chest from being pushed into my room before the door was slammed in my face. I cringed and felt my eyes begin to brim again. I didn't want to cry; my face hurt and was rubbed raw.

I pulled my shirt back on haphazardly buttoning it back up. I slowly opened my door and peeked my head out. I pulled it opened the rest of the way, stepping out into the hall. I made my way down to the bathroom. I closed the door, turning on the light. I started the water before peeling off my clothes. I stepped in slowly, letting the water rinse of the sweat and shame. My eyes began to prick again with tears. I held them back the best I could. I was sick of crying over this. It's not like I don't know its coming. I wanted so badly to just melt and run down the drain with the rest of the water. I don't want to be here but I know I can't leave. I stay in the shower until the water starts to turn cold. I make my way back to my room wrapped tightly in a towel, my clothes clutched in my hands. I throw my uniform in the corner with the rest of my clothes that need washed before falling down on my bed. I roll over and see my phone sitting on my nightstand. I grab it and hit the home button, turning on the screen. I flip through my contacts until I come to Franks name. I hesitate over his name before hitting the text button. I stare at the blank screen, waiting for me to ask for help, ask him to come over and save me. From what? The damage is already done. What can he do? I let my fingers run along the screen, typing absent mindedly. I sent a simple message, "Hey. It's Angela." I held the phone waiting for a response. Moments later it vibrates back.

"Hey. What's up?"

I feel my lips pull up into a smile. They began to surge with heat thinking of the contact we shared early that day. I ran my tongue over them gently, contemplating my next text.

"I just wanted to make sure it was you."

"Of course it's me. Is everything ok?"

I felt my body tremble. Everything is ok now. Do I tell him about earlier?

"Everything's fine. I just wanted to say thanks for hanging out with me today. It was nice :)"

"You're welcome... I didn't weird you out did I?"

I thought back to his lips pressed to mine, his hands on my waist and in my hair. I felt a rush run through my body longing to touch him again. My skin became suddenly ultrasensitive to the towel rubbing against my skin. I shifted, causing my body to shiver at the touch of soft cotton moving along my arms; my legs; my thighs... My face heated at the thought when my phone vibrated again.

"I'm sorry. I just couldn't help myself. You're just ... I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mind. It just surprised me, that's all. I mean ... in a good way."