Dark and Dirty Like You've Never Seen

Who Are You?

I sat in one of the comfy chairs with my feet tucked under me, sipping on my favorite white tea. Gerard and I had been sitting at the coffee shop for about half an hour now. Being midweek and in between breakfast and lunch, there weren’t many people here. Gerard had just told me about how all the guys met and when they had started the band. Right now Gerard is in the restroom and I used this alone time to gather my thoughts. I really had been paying attention to Gerard but part of me was still dwelling one the exchange I had with Aaron earlier. I said I would do anything to keep him from hurting Frank, and I meant that, but how far was I willing to go. Surely I could find something to accommodate him without having to do the unthinkable. Right now, I was coming up short. I saw Gerard coming out of the bathroom and tried my best to not think about that right now. I was pretty bad at hiding my emotions and I didn’t want him asking what was wrong with me because I wasn’t a very good liar, either. I shifted in my chair as Gerard took the one across from me. He stretched out and smiled at me.

“So, you and Frankie… how’d that happen?”

“Oh … um, well he just sort of asked me the other day right before the party. Nothing spectacular.”

“Hmmm … lucky bastard.” He mumbled the last part as he took a swig of his coffee. I felt my skin heat slightly. What was that supposed to mean? I wanted to change the subject.

“Hey, who’s Vee?”

He was in the middle of taking a drink when I asked. This caused him to choke slightly, and sit up in his chair. He cleared his throat and gave me a stern look.

“Who told you about her?”

“You did …” I stared at him with concern. Why did everyone seem to get so upset over this girl? I don’t even know who she is.

“I did?”

“Yeah, at the party. You were pretty drunk. So was I. I can’t believe I remember that. You said I looked like someone named Vee, though …”

“Huh… that’s weird.” He sat back in his chair again and took a long drink this time. I waited for more but he just sat there, casually staring out the window at traffic. I was starting to get annoyed. Why won’t anyone tell me who she is? I want to know why everyone gets upset when someone mentions her name, especially if I look like her. I decided someone was going to tell me one way or another

“So is she someone’s ex or something? Is this the crazy girlfriend Frank talked about that one time?” I was staring directly at him but he didn’t turn his gaze from the window

“Just someone we knew”

“How?” I was starting to lose my patients with how vague he was being.

“It’s complicated…” His hand was gripping the arm of the chair.

“Well, where is she now?” I was about to start yelling if someone wasn’t going to give me a straight answer.

“Dead.” He snapped his head around and stared at me. His expression was unreadable.

I sat with my mouth slacked open. I didn’t know what to say. I felt my face burn with embarrassment. I made a complete ass out of myself. I thought I was going to spontaneously combust at that very moment, or at least I wish I would have. After a beat, his face softened.

“I’m sorry, it’s just … it’s still a touchy subject for me. You didn’t know.”

“I don’t know what to say … I’m sorry.” I let my gaze fall into my lap. There was an awkward pause. Curiosity was getting the better of me and I wanted to know what happened, but I could tell Gerard was still hurt by the whole thing. We sat in silence for another minute before he let out a sigh, causing me to look up at him.