Dark and Dirty Like You've Never Seen

I'll Wait For You

I silently made my way toward Frank. I watched as he bent over, picking up a rock and skimmed it across the water. He stood, motionless, as it skipped a few times before sinking to the bottom. At this moment, I felt just like that rock. I was skipping, skipping just waiting to sink. I continued cautiously toward him, his back still to me. I took in a deep breath as I found myself just a few feet from him.

"I didn't think you were coming." He said not turning around. I froze in my tracks and swallowed hard.

"I'm sorry I'm late. I had some problems with the car..." I wasn't sure what else to say to him. I stood awkwardly behind him. I didn't know if I should walk up to his side or wait for him to make the first move. When he still didn't turn to me, I cleared my throat. "Why did you leave?"

"I had to..." He said just above a whisper. He finally turned to look at me and I could see the pained expression on his face. He shoved his hands in his pockets and turned his gaze back down to his feet. I didn't dare say anything else. I wasn't sure what it was that he had to tell me but judging by his stance and facial expression now, I don't think I had prepared myself enough for what it was he had to tell me. I didn't want to rush him but I began to shake from the cold air coming off of the water. I wanted so bad to step forward and curl up to his chest, his arms wrapped around me, shielding me from the brisk air. My body was naturally gravitating toward him and it took every ounce of me to stand my ground. He slowly brought his eyes back to mine and I swallowed the lump in my throat. There it was. The rock is sinking. Sinking down to the pit of my stomach where it sat heavy and uneasy. The look on his face was enough to tell me that this wasn't going to end well. I instinctively wrapped my arms around myself.

"What is it, Frank?" I took one step forward and stopped, waiting to see his reaction. He didn't seem to be bothered so I took one more, then another and another until I was standing toe to toe with him. He looked down into my eyes and sighed. The electricity shooting between my body and his was enough to drive me mad. It felt like two negative magnet ends, no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't make them touch. I needed him though. I needed to feel his arms around me. My body was practically convulsing at this point. I don't think it was due to the weather any more.

After a few more agonizing moments, his hands slipped from his pockets and reached out to me, snaking around my waist, and pulled me to him. I let out a sigh of relief as his warm body pressed to mine, my arms wrapping around his neck. The circuit was complete and I could feel it surging from my body to his and back again. This was right. It felt right. Whatever I had felt before, with anyone before, was nothing compared to this. I needed this. It scared me how much I needed him. I don't know how I could have possibly thought that Frank wasn't the one. He always was, and I was stupid to even try to deny that. So what was the problem? I was chanting a mantra over and over in my head, "no matter what he says, I'll still love him". I couldn't think of anything that could possibly make me change my mind. No matter how bad, I couldn't picture myself without him. After last night, when I had finally fallen asleep, my dreams were laced with the memories of Frank and I. Everything. It all came back. Everything up until the night of the party. I don't know if I'll ever remember that night. I don't think I wanted to either. That seems to be the source of the problem.

"Angel ..." He breathed out, kissing the top of my head. My whole body tingled at the sound of my name rolling off his tongue and into the fall air. The wind blew and the sound of his voice curled around us like the smoke of so many cigarettes before it. In this moment, I almost wanted to tell him to forget whatever he was going to say. I wanted to tell him that I don't remember so it didn't matter. I didn't have the chance though. I felt him bury his face into my hair, taking a deep breath, holding it, letting it linger before breathing it out. I could feel him shaking. I gripped him tighter, pulling him closer to me. I tried my hardest not to kiss his neck that was now exposed to me. I wanted to trace my lips over that scorpion tattoo. I was so consumed with my thoughts of Frank that I almost didn't hear him speak.