fierce and forgiving:second chances

chapter 43

      I feel very happy to be leaving the four walls of my hospital room,to leave the hospital is like a dream come true like am finally free,therapy really did me some good. The ride back home was quiet and not the awkward kind,the comfortable one,when I saw my house in view I became very happy,it looked weird,maybe because I haven't stayed there in a while but I was even happier to see my friends,Claire,Dave,Evi Luke and Eddy. Evans was nowhere in sight,I don't blame him though,Claire told me he feels very guilty in the letters she sent,I don't hate him but I wish he didn't do what he did.

"Betty,I thought I would never see you again" Lucas said as he came charging at me with a hug making me loose balance but thankfully I didn't fall

"Hello little man,I missed you too,you look different" I said hugging him back then looking at him well

"Have you been working out,you look toned and taller" I said smiling at him making him blush,you see Claire and Evi kept telling me about how Lucas wants to look really good so he has been working out with Dave at least he was trying to work out with Dave they said, I guess his crush has grown bigger

   When everyone started coming in to give me hugs I started feeling conscious about my wrist so I shoved it in my baggy pants,I would have to explain some things to them but I would rather not prefer now

"I thought you guys were gonna stand there all day and not hug me" I told them after they each pulled me into a hug telling me how much they miss me and how school is boring without me

"Well if we interrupted your little moment with Lucas over here,we wouldn't here the last of it" Evi said still smiling at me

"We all did really miss you" eddy said and am sure they did,I felt someone staring at me and I looked towards Claire's house and he was there, Evans staring at him but he closed the shutters when our eyes locked,I can't really decipher what I feel but I really wanted to go to my room,heavens know how much I miss that place but then again that was the same place I passed out,I was scared to go there but I have to go there.

"Why don't we all go to my room" I suggested, getting tired of standing outside

"Na,we should leave you to rest" Evi said
    They all hugged me again and started leaving but Lucas didn't leave without giving me the cookies he baked ,to be honest I was scared to eat it,Claire saw the look on my face then assured me that this wasn't the one he baked and I was relived,soon enough they left and am climbing the stairs to my room,I couldn't help but take my precious time,taking one step at a time,I couldn't help but feeling like they murdered someone in my room even if they didn't,I was already at my door,my hand lingering on the nub but I just couldn't open it

"You would have to do it sooner or later" my mum said standing at my back, I didn't even notice she was there
    I took in a deep breathe then turned the nub, slowly opening the door,it looked exactly how it used to be,everything was arranged like nothing happened at all and I was glad,I went to my bed and I didn't have to summon sleep before it comforted me.

    Every of my day went well,Mrs Jennings says I should go back to school and that I shouldn't miss the experience of my senior year,I didn't want to but she says it would help me recover better besides my home schooling wasn't going as I imagined,the person my mum hired is lazier than I am and that is really something besides I didn't want to repeat senior year.

     I finally decide to go back to school today which is a Monday. The creepy looks people shot at me as I passed the always couldn't be missed,I won't blame them I disappeared form school for a month and now am back. I felt nervous because I don't know what is going through their minds but I couldn't help the feeling that its about my scar so I tugged down at my long sleeve blouse to cover the red slash prominent on my pale skin.
     I headed to my first class but I couldn't take the constant stares and whispers so I asked for a pass to the nurses office and I was thankful Mrs Smith granted my request ,I was heading to the library when I saw Evans at the other end of the hallway,I thought I would be okay seeing him but right now I wasn't,I turned to leave but I heard him whisper something, I missed him,I missed his voice but I felt something dark towards him, I wouldn't go as far as classifying it has hate though.

"Please don't" he said as I took another step away from him

"Stop running away from me like am some monster" he said

"Well aren't you" I found myself saying before I could process it but I felt bad immediately after and I wasn't going to let it show

"Well I guess I deserved that" he said and I turned around and was about to say no one deserves it but I didn't

"Saying am sorry would be a grave understatement of what I feel" he started but didn't finish,I knew he wanted to say more but he didn't
"Never mind" he said turning to leave

   I felt bad for giving him a hard time,he was trying to apologize but I was here making it difficult for him,not that he doesn't deserve it

"You were a jerk for what you said that day" I said in attempt to stop him for leaving,I don't know why but I felt I had to

"Yes I know I was the second I uttered it but it was too late,I couldn't take them back,I still can't if I wanted to and am truly, really sorry" he said as he took several steps closer to me
     I didn't say anything, he moved closer to me till he was right in front of me.
    He looked into my eyes,deep into the orbs of my eyes like he was looking into my soul,his eyes held sadness and guilt

"Am sorry" he said pulling me into a hug I would have fought back but I needed the hug as much as he did so I just stood as he held me to himself.

    I realized I was hugging the same guy who made me cut myself the deepest in the middle of an empty hallway and I withdrew myself from him

"Don't read meaning to this little moment" I said walking away,I might have recovered but I wasn't over what he did
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Hello lovelies, yes I admit I deserve to be purnished for the scanty updates but I've been busy with school and exam but I hope to finish this book this year, I hope you like this chapter, it was kind of like an in the moment thing for me, I just woke up, picked up my phone then started typing,yes this book is finally coming to an end and I can't wait for you to see how it ends, have a lovely day ahead and don't forget to tell a friend to tell a friend to read Firece and Forgiving: Second Chances
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Love mola
27-02-2016