fierce and forgiving:second chances

chapter 44

      After the encounter I avoided my friends like a plague,I love them but I would rather be alone,its safer for me that way or that's how I felt. The rest of the day went okay nothing eventful the rest of the week too until eddy,I was walking to the parking lot when Eddy came running towards him,I knew he was coming but I didn't stop,didn't want to

"Hey how are you" Eddy said

"Have seen better days" I said and the we kept walking in silence,why can't I remember where I packed,I was getting frustrated

"You know you don't have to pity me" I said breaking the deafening silence noticing the glances of others

"Pity is far from what I feel,am just glad a really good friend is alive" was all he said

"Then why are you here talking to me" I asked tired

"I just said it,didn't I" Eddy said sounding angry

"Why are you getting angry" I asked confused

"You have to stop thinking everyone pities you,you also have to stop doing crazy suicide stunts,I barely got over you almost drowining now these" he said grabbing my wrist for me to see my work
"Life is more than that,its more than what your making it,you can be happy if you want to you just choose not to and it hurts,you are surrounded everyday with people that love you,peopl that wouldn't think twice before sticking their neck out for you,well I would ponder a lot about it but that's far from the point. The point is that happiness has always been close to you like a shadow but you are overly blinded by the past,by what you father did,he isn't perfect,he did what only a pig would do but that doesn't change the fact that he is your dad it also doesn't change the blood that runs through your veins,he is remorseful  am sure ,he has been for a while too you just fail to realize it,life is a field of roses,you get to skim your fingers on the pretty petals but you also have to be prepared when the thorn pricka you, honestly you should stop with the self pity,maybe then other people would stop pitying you" Eddy said and left leaving me staring at the ground in shock

"And give the poor boy a break,he messed up and he knows it,its about time you made him stop beating himself up" he said then finally left

I was still sunned from everything,I was running away from it,from everything and he in a few minutes slapped me with it right across my face,the truth,have always been in denial,what do I do now,I got into my car and started driving,instead of driving home I drove to an ice cream shop,Paul's place ,I ordered a large bowl of vanilla ice cream with chocolate toppings and moved to the edge of the store to feel sorry for myself while devouring yummy ice cream

"Daddy,daddy I want this one" a little girl said as she touched the display board,she was sitting round her dads neck, she wore her hair in two pig tails

"Whatever you want princess" her dad said making her order
     I looked at the scene with a sad smile, that used to be me and my dad but not anymore, I wish I had a father figure while growing up,if not for me then for my mum,she deserves to be happy and then the familiar feeling creeps in, guilt making me realize I took that happiness away from her.
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Yea ,two chapters in one day,unbelievable, I just really want to finish this book and start another one, anyways thank you so much lovelies for reading this far,it means a lot.
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Love mola
27-02-2016