Such A Beautiful Disaster

Part 18

Wednesday morning was finally here and I was beyond happy. All my tests had come back with good results. I was so ready to get out of here. I had been going out of my mind with boredom in the hospital. I was looking forward to being around other people again.

I physically felt amazing. Yeah, my chest was still a little sore, but there were no more drugs in my system, which meant there was no more withdrawal to go through. The IVs they had me hooked up to pumped me clean of all those substances. I hadn't felt so awake, alive, and healthy in so long. It was awesome.

Lauren had come by yesterday to drop off a change of clothes for me. Wearing my own clothes instead of the annoying hospital gowns was also a relief. I had taken a long shower earlier and was already to go. When Jeremy finally came into my room take me back to the unit I wanted to jump with joy. He looked at me with a smile on his face and asked "Are you ready to get out of here?" "YES!" I practically shouted. He chuckled and said "Come on then." I jumped off the bed and walked over to him. We then started walking side by side out of the Intensive Care Unit.

"I'm going to have you go right into the first group. They're all finishing up morning meditation right now," Jeremy told me. "Okay," I replied. I sneaked at a sideways glance at him. Jeremy was wearing a black and green plaid button up shirt, rolled up to his elbows again. He had black jeans on and his Doc Martens. He had stubble covering his face which just made him look that much more sexier. Ugh. I had to stop thinking like this. He was my counselor for Christ's sake.

We walked in silence the rest of the way to the unit. When we got into the main office Jeremy said "The next group is in the dining room. You can head over there now. I'll sit down and talk with you a little bit later. Okay?""Yeah," I said. Lauren was giving me the evil eye for some reason. I ignored it and started walking down the hallway. People were milling around the dining room, waiting for the group instructor to come in. When I walked in everybody got real quiet for a moment. I looked down and acted like it didn't bother me. Before I knew it, Tyler was advancing upon me.

"Hey," he said when he was standing in front of me. "Look who's back from the dead."

I laughed at his humorless joke just to placate him.

"So how'd you do it?" he asked me. "I mean, how did you get the drugs in here in the first place."

"Uh, I'm not going to tell you that," I told him with a disgusted tone. This guy was such a loser.

"Oh, come on," he said with a huff. "It's not like I'm going to do anything with the info. I was just wondering."

"Yeah, well you can keep wondering," I replied.

"You know, you're really quite the bitch. It doesn't matter though. I like 'em feisty," Tyler said leaning in close to my ear.

I was just about to rip him a new asshole when a shrill voice exclaimed "Tyler. Get the HELL away from her right now! Jesus, what is your problem, you fucking tool? She's been back on the unit two minutes and you're already being a total douchebag."

There Shauna stood, her face flushed from yelling. Tyler backed away, shot Shauna a look, then walked off, leaving the two of us standing there in front of each other.

"Shauna," I began, my voice wavering "I am SO sorry for all this. I know you must have found me. You should never have had to deal with that. Especially when you're in rehab trying to get away from all of that kind of shit."

Shauna waved her hand, as if to say no big deal. "I'm just glad you're alive," she said. "You scared the crap out of me. Like I said I've seen and heard it-"

Before she could say anything else I grabbed her into a hug. I could hear her sniffling back tears against my shoulder. I squeezed her tight then let go.

"Thanks," I said to her with a big genuine smile.

"No problem," she replied, smiling just as wide through misty eyes.

We started laughing for no reason then. It felt good. Just then a thin, wiry, older man with graying hair pulled back into a ponytail walked into the room. He was holding a cup of coffee in one hand and a thick stack of papers in the other. "Okay everyone! Take a seat and quiet down!" He headed for the front of the room, then set the papers and cup down on the ledge running under the windows. Shauna and I took a seat next to each other at the farthest table. "That's Russ," she whispered to me. "He's pretty cool." He looked like a geek, with wire-rimmed glasses, a starched white button up, and khakis. The comb over/ ponytail didn't help either.

"Today we are going to be talking about distress tolerance and ways we can positively cope with distress on our own," Russ announced to the group. I looked around the room as he spoke. Most people were paying attention, other were staring off into space. Russ began to hand out the papers which were worksheets on distress tolerance. Shauna began doodling on hers. I resisted the urge to do the same and turned my full attention on to Russ. I had to get my act straight and pay attention if I was ever going to make it out of this.