Such A Beautiful Disaster

Part 28

A week went by pretty uneventfully, though uneventful was a good thing for me at this point. I was doing really good in all my groups: offering insights: asking questions: attempting to soak everything up. I was making my way through my Topics which was hard at times because Jeremy really hit the nail of my problems on the head, trying to get me to sort out a lot of unresolved things in my own mind. I talked to either RC or Daniel every night. They were glad I was doing well but I could tell they were also reserved about my “improvement“. I understood why. They had seen me get better before only to go right back to my old ways in just a few months. It felt different this time but I wasn’t going to try to convince them of that. Time would be the ultimate proof.

It was a typical Wednesday afternoon. I had already been here two weeks (they started my 28 days from when I returned to the unit after my “episode”). I couldn’t believe my stay was half way over. Actually, it terrified me. It seemed like my time here was going by so fast. I felt like I was changing so much and that I was finally working on the issues with my family that I had kept hidden inside me for so long. But I was in a safe place. I wasn’t sure I would be this strong in the “real’ world.

We were all heading to the living room for our next group when Jeremy approached me. He stood back from the group and beckoned me towards him. My heart still started to race every time I saw him but he was just so gorgeous that I was sure every female in this place reacted the same way. I made the few steps over to him and he gave me a smile.

“So are you ready?” he asked me, still smiling.

My brows knitted together, confused. I had no idea what he was talking about. “What do you mean?”

“Ready for the outside meeting tonight. You must be so excited,” he said, his eyes twinkling with laughter.

“Oh my god!” I shrieked, then laughed, thinking about how I sounded just like Shauna, but I was too ecstatic to care. “Are you serious?! You made me Level 2?!”

“I sure did,” he told me, laughing out loud at my excitement.

“Thank you SO MUCH!!” I yelled, then threw my arms around him in a hug. Jeremy stiffened and I immediately retracted my limbs. At once I felt like a total idiot and was grateful everyone was already in the living room and had not bore witness to what just happened. It was just a natural reaction, I was so happy to finally get off the unit. I momentarily forgot about boundaries, that Jeremy was my counselor, and that we weren’t allowed to touch staff or each other.

Embarrassment tinged my cheeks pink and I muttered out an apology as I stared at the floor. I didn’t want Jeremy to see how bad I was blushing. But the tone in his voice when he replied:

“Uh, it’s okay Molly. Don’t worry about it.” made me look up. He seemed just as embarrassed, nervous even. But he wasn’t looking at me. He was avoiding my eyes. It was so strange.

“Just have a good time at the meeting tonight. And be good,” he said, finally looking up and giving me a smile. Relief washed over me.

“I will,” I told him.

He walked off then and I made my way into the living room. Shauna had reserved a spot for me in my usual arm chair next to her by setting her (undoubtedly smelly) sneakers on it. She picked them off the chair as I made my way over.

“So guess who will be accompanying you to the meeting tonight?” I asked her in a hoity toity tone as I sat down. I couldn’t keep the smile off my face though.

“Oh my god!” she shrieked and grabbed my hands, pumping them up and down in excitement. “I’m SO happy for you! And for us! This is going to be SO MUCH FUN!”