Such A Beautiful Disaster

Part 11

Friday morning was here. RC had given me a ride to Julie's office so I didn't have to take the bus with all my bags. We had said our tearful goodbyes and now I was waiting in reception for the driver to get here. It turned out that Tri-County Memorial was 45 minutes away, in some small town that I had never heard of. Just perfect. RC promised to still come visit me which was extremely nice of him.

I felt like I was enjoying my last moments alive before heading off to be executed. Thankfully, I was drugged out of my mind so I didn't have to stress about it too much. Also, the remaining pills I had stowed away in the sole of my sneakers calmed my nerves. I know how horrible that sounds, sneaking drugs into rehab where I'm going to get help so I can stop using them. They were just in case things got really bad, is how I was justifying it. I knew from my two previous stints in treatment programs that they would go through all my belongings and check for "contraband". Cell phones, cigarettes, any kind of toiletry that had alcohol as an ingredient were not allowed and considered contraband. As of course were drugs. I also knew that there was no way they would find the pills tucked away inside the rubber sole where I had cut out a small space for them. If only I could use my creativeness for good and not evil.

Wednesday night RC had taken me out to all these places around town that we had history, where we took random pictures of ourselves and other odd sights. We accumulated about 200 pictures so we took our cameras to the 24 hour Walmart and printed them out at the photo hut. We then spent the rest of the night at my house, chatting and putting the pictures into a photo album RC had bought for me on his way over. He said that since I wasn't allowed to have my phone or camera he wanted me to have a way to remember the good times. That is proof of why he is one of my best friends.

Yesterday I called Danielle and we talked for a long time. She told me she knew something was up but there was no way for her to do anything and it was killing her. She wished me luck and told me to write to her while I was at Tri-County, and she would write me back. I didn't go to the square last night. I stayed in, stayed high, and packed my things. Jack had called earlier, asking why I wasn't at work. I told him that I was sick but to come over and make me feel better. I hid my bags from view when he came by. I really didn't want to have that conversation. Obviously Lynn hadn't told him my (dishonest) reason for leaving, so I just played it off as taking a sick day. He still kissed me on the lips when we had sex, which was nice. He left around one in the morning. I more or less passed out after that.

And here I was. I watched the door as it opened and a petite younger woman walked through wearing a parka and jeans. She had her hair in a ponytail and didn't have any make-up on. She was also carrying a clipboard. I figured she was the driver. "Are you Molly?" she asked, walking over to me. I stood up and agreed in the affirmative. "Hi, I'm Candace. I'll be driving you over to Tri-County today." Candace held out her hand for me to shake. I took it and greeted her. She had a smile on her face that was way too friendly for it being nine AM and about to take a 45 minute ride to the middle of nowhere with a junkie riding shotgun.

Julie had come out of her office. She introduced herself to Candace, who handed her the clipboard to sign, stating that she had been here to pick me up. Billing purposes or something. Julie turned to me and gave me a hug. "You better do good," she told me as I started lifting up my bags. "I will," I replied. She smiled at me. I smiled back and that was it. I was leaving.

Candace grabbed one of my three bags and I grabbed the other two then followed her out of the office to a big white van. There was no writing or logo on it, advertising that it was a hospital vehicle. That made me feel a little better about riding in it. We settled my bags into the seat directly behind us. She hopped into the driver's side while I pulled myself up into the passenger's seat. Then we were pulling out of the parking lot and passing by everything I knew.

"So how old are you?" Candace asked me after a little while. I had been gritting my teeth the past minute or two. She had some hokey country station on in the van. Country is the only genre of music I absolutely cannot stand. "I just turned 21," I told her. She nodded her head and then asked "Is there anything you want to know about Tri-County? I could tell you some of the rules and the routine." I figured the rules and routine were along the same lines as the other places I'd been to. Then again every rehab is run differently. The first one I was at I was allowed to smoke between groups and classes, could make calls during free time, and could go on the internet. We ate meals in the cafeteria during the weekdays and were allowed coffee, visitors, and had a TV.

The second one was totally isolated. The females were housed separately from the males. We were only allowed three phone calls a week. We could only call and receive visits from immediate family (therefore I had no visitors). We ate right there, weren't allowed any coffee or chocolate, couldn't smoke, and there was no TV except to watch the news each night. I hated that place. But I really didn't want to talk right now and I would find out soon enough what this rehab would be like. So I just said "No, that's okay. Can I change the station?"

"Oh yeah! That's fine. Go right ahead." I switched the country music to the local rock station. Then I leaned my head back and looked out the window. We were on the highway already. Not much to look at from here. I closed my eyes and brought back the memory of Jack from last night. After we had sex, he held me close to him. We talked about all sorts of things. Then he brought up the topic of us. How he wanted to be with me. How he wanted me to give him a chance. How he liked me for who I was and told me I didn't have to worry about scaring him off. I told him that he didn't know who I was. I told him that I wasn't worth the effort. I told him I wasn't ready for a relationship. But the thought of him holding me close, looking deeply into my eyes as he spoke, and softly stroking my hair all the while was comforting.

I must have dozed off or nodded out because when I opened my eyes to the sound of Candace calling my name, we were parked in front of a hospital. It was small, as far as hospitals are considered. It was only two levels and stretched out pretty far, surrounded by greenery. We were parked in front of the left end of it. "We're here," Candace told me, reaffirming the obvious. We got out of the van and grabbed my bags. I followed her up the walkway and into one of the main entrances. We stopped at a door with a sign next to it that said "Rehabilitation Unit". She swiped her card through the slot next to the handle, which lit up green, and made a clicking noise as it unlocked. She opened the door and I took a giant breath in before I stepped inside what would be my home for the next 28 days.