Such A Beautiful Disaster

Part 17

I woke up feeling very groggy and sore. I opened my eyes but everything was blurry so I shut them again. I didn't feel sick from withdrawal which was unusual. I had a strange sense of disconnect, I didn't know where I was, how long I had been asleep, or the last thing that had happened. I heard faint beeping noises and voices coming from somewhere. I opened my eyes again, anxious to figure out what was going and tried to sit up. A horrible pain struck my chest and I lied back down, moaning. I shut my eyes tight, willing the pain to go away. I felt someone standing over me. "Where am I?" I asked the presence.

"Oh!" an unfamiliar female voice said, sounding shocked. "You're awake!" I opened my eyes and squinted at the woman hovering over me. She was young, with dark hair pulled back. I couldn't make out much else before I closed my eyes again. "You're in the hospital sweetie. You overdosed and had to be defibrillated." My eyes flew open in shock. Bits and pieces of the morning came back to me. Not being able to sleep all night. Deciding to take the pills I had hidden in my sneaker. Stupidly taking all six of them.

I had overdosed. I almost couldn't believe it. I wondered who had found me. I felt a pang of guilt thinking that it was most likely Shauna who found me. No one should ever have to witness something like that. I knew that first hand. I suddenly felt queasy, and not from withdrawal but because I knew the consequences of what I had done were not going to be good. I was going to get kicked out of treatment and be put in jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.

"What time is it?" I wearily asked who I assumed was a nurse.

"It's about one in the afternoon," she informed me.

One o'clock. So I'd only been out for...? "So I've been asleep for about four hours?" I asked her, guessing.

"Oh no, sweetie. It's Monday. You've been out since seven A.M. Saturday morning," the nurse replied.

"WHAT?!" I croaked sitting up in the bed. The awful pain hit my chest again. I fell back onto the bed, moaning.

"Hey, hey," the nurse gently soothed. "Take it easy. It's going to be okay. You're awake now. Everything's all right. Let me go get the doctor."

She turned and left the room before I could tell her that things were not going to be okay, that I had messed up royally, that everything was FUCKED. I felt like I was going to cry but I was too tired for any tears to fall. I lied there, silently cursing myself, when the doctor came in.

"Hello, Molly," he said to me. "I'm Dr. Folley. How are you feeling?"

"Tired," I told him. "Sore. My chest hurts when I sit up and everything looks blurry."

"That's all pretty normal for what you've gone through. You're chest hurts from the compressions the nurses while attempting to resuscitate you. The tiredness, soreness, and blurry vision go along with being unconscious for so long. You went into a coma afterward. We weren't sure if you were going to wake up. Thankfully it's been less that 48 hours so there shouldn't be any brain damage. We'll run some tests later to make sure," Dr. Folley explained to me.

I was shocked hearing this. I didn't really know how to respond so I just said "Okay."

"It's very good to see you awake. I'll be back to check on you in a bit," Dr. Folley said.

"Thanks," I said, attempting a smile. The doctor gave me a small wave then walked out of the room.

The nurse stayed and did vitals on me. They pretty good for my situation which I guess was a relief. After she left, I lied back in the bed, reeling from the information of what had happened. I was so stressed about what was going to ensue now that I was stable.