Such A Beautiful Disaster

Part 27

Jeremy slammed his office door shut behind him. He was furious. Lauren had been completely out of line talking to Molly like that. Lauren was supposed to be a professional and she had acted just like one of the patients. It was ridiculous.

“Lauren, sit down,” he directed her, trying as best as he could to keep his voice calm.

Lauren sat, looking defeated. She hadn’t meant to actually say those things to Molly even though they went through her head every day. She just snapped and it was completely inexcusable. Still, she hated the way all the staff treated her like a special case and were constantly bending the rules for her. She was a stupid, manipulative, junkie who didn’t deserve a second chance, much less a third or fourth.

“Why don’t you tell me what all that was about?” Jeremy said. He sat down in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. He knew it was a classic textbook body language stance of being defensive but he didn’t care.

“That girl is ridiculous!” Lauren exclaimed. “She walks around here like she owns this place…I don’t know, maybe she does? Is her daddy on the board of directors? Buying his druggie daughter second chances? She fucks up, OD’ing in her bathroom, and she’s still here. Anyone else would have been kicked out! It’s ridiculous! And you! You’re so obviously smitten with her, “checking in” with her every day with these hour long “sessions”. Why don’t you admit you’ve got it bad for the girl Jeremy? Do yourself and everybody else a favor because you’re not fooling me.”

Jeremy’s face got hot. He could feel his palms start to sweat and his heart start to race. Was it really that obvious to Lauren that he was absolutely head over heels for Molly? He really did his best to hide it and the only reason he saw her so often was because Molly had serious trauma to be worked out. The girl was deeply damaged and he wanted nothing more than to finally help her move past it. He knew he could never have a relationship with her. Even if he wasn’t her counselor, Molly had a long road ahead of her and another guy in her life would just throw her off course. She didn’t need him in that physical sense, even though he fantasized about it. Quite often, to be honest.

And if we were talking total honesty, maybe a small part of why he put so much of an effort into getting Molly well again was to absolve himself of the guilt he had over his deeper feelings towards her. But still, first and foremost, it was her well being before anything else.

Jeremy decided Lauren was just blowing out hot air and said “You’re being ridiculous.”

Lauren scoffed at him. “I wish I was. I see that look in your eye when she walks past, when you’re talking to her. Like I said, you’re not fooling me.”

Again, Jeremy wondered if it was that apparent but he decided to take another route with this. He felt bad for doing it but it was his only option.

“Is this about us Lauren? Are you jealous that I’m spending so much time with a patient because of that “date” we went on? I told you I had a good time but really I want things to remain professional here and getting involved with you will just prove disastrous.”

Lauren’s face dropped. Yes, she and Jeremy had gone on a date a few weeks ago. She had always had a tiny (well maybe not that tiny) crush on Jeremy. Finally she built up the nerve to ask him out a month and a half ago. He seemed to think it was a good idea but had never really gotten back to her about it. She brought it up a few more times. He would say that he would love to go out but he was busy with work and a set date would just fall through the cracks. Finally, about three weeks ago he actually made a date with her. They went to a movie and dinner. Lauren had a wonderful time and thought he had as well. The next day he called her, told her that he had a really great time but he didn’t want to complicate things at work if they got involved. Lauren was crushed but told herself and Jeremy that she understood, it was no big deal. But it was. As much as she told herself it wasn’t.

Lauren began to doubt herself. Was she really just jealous because she and Jeremy hadn’t worked out the way she had hoped? Molly was absolutely gorgeous and she felt like a nobody compared to her. But she was a patient. And Jeremy was one of the most professional guys she had ever met. Just because he was spending so much time with such a stunning creature didn’t mean he had it for her. The girl was obviously not right in the head. That was apparent after her stunt a few days after being admitted. Was she just being delusional? All of a sudden Lauren felt incredibly stupid for thinking Jeremy could ever have feelings for Molly.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Lauren told him. “I’ve been having a rough week. My mother’s been sick and it’s hard for me. I’m sorry that I went off on Molly like that. I promise nothing of the sort will ever happen again.” Lauren made a vow to herself to be nicer to Molly from now on. The girl was in rehab for christ sake and here she was being a total bitch to her over nothing.

Jeremy sighed in relief. He had never really wanted to go out with Lauren but thought it would be really tense around the office if he just shot her down. He tried to put it off and she kept asking. Finally he took her out to placate her, then got himself off her hook by telling her he had a great time but things would be too complicated at work if they got involved. He didn’t like Lauren that way at all but he didn’t want to hurt her feelings although he seemed to anyway. Thankfully this problem was now solved and they could move on.

“Good. I’m glad to hear it. I’ll let you go finish up with lunch now. It’s almost time for group,” Jeremy said, looking at the clock instead of meeting her eyes. Lauren seemed to drop the issue with him and Molly but he was afraid if she looked in his eyes, she would see to the very depths of him, were the secret of his love for Molly was buried.