Monochromatic: Haikyuu Fanfic

Chapter 63: I'm Sorry.

"I don't really think it's worth the chance."

"...wait a second, Oikawa. It's not very like you to doubt yourself like this. Have you lost your mind?! You're Oikawa Tooru! You know, you're always surrounded by girls and a team captain of a volleyball team! It would be dumb for someone not to choose you!"

***

It would be dumb for someone not to choose you...

That memory felt so long ago - but he still remembered Fukui's words clearly. She said that when Oikawa doubted himself with Ayame.

But now, under new, more complicated circumstances...would it still be true?

Oikawa mumbles to himself, "If anyone's the dumb one...It would be me, not her."

Oh how he just wants to sink into these couch cushions and never come back to the real world. Even with the volleyball match flashing on TV, Oikawa could not focus on anything else but to feel pure remorse. It crept onto him and now it gnaws on his insides like a parasite. He flopped onto his stomach on the couch, burying his face in the couch pillows.

Another voice interrupted his musings.

"Is this how you act outside the court? God, you're worse than Bokuto."

Kuroo said this nonchalantly without even looking at Oikawa, busy cooking their lunch in the tiny kitchen of their dormroom. Even with the noises of sizzling from the pan and the low whirring of the fan, Oikawa's dejected groans make it to the other side of the room.

"Leave me alone," Oikawa replies, "just let me just go to hell already, it's probably a lot better there than here."

Kuroo cracks an egg into the frying pan. "I'm sure hell doesn't have saintly roommates who cooks lunch for others. Are you sure it's better?"

Oikawa lifts his face from the cushions to shoot him a look. "I said I'll order us something for dinner."

"You better." Kuroo says. "Anyways, is it still my cousin that's giving you so much problems?"

In an instant, Oikawa slumps back to the couch. "Yeah."

Kuroo did not reply. He simply continued cooking until he was finished, placing the eggs and fried pork on two bowls.  He places them on the living room table and poked Oikawa's lifeless corpse.

"Dude. Eat up. We can't have bony setters in our team."

No reply.

Kuroo sighs, then sits down on the floor, facing him - waiting. "Look, do you want me to leave for the night again? Talk it out again or something. The semester doesn't start 'till next week, so I don't really care."

Oikawa finally shows himself from the couch, and his eye bags hung underneath. He's a mess: hair disheveled, splotchy red skin all the way down to his neck, tired looking eyes, and chapped lips. He runs a hand through his hair, frustrated, and Kuroo notices that the bruises on his hands only continue to get more purply.

"I'm gonna go to the court to practice." Oikawa says weakly. "Just put my food in the fridge, thanks."

"What the fuck, no." Kuroo pushes him back to the couch. "You're obviously not in good shape. You're really gonna let a girl ruin you like this?"

A girl? Well if it's Umeko...

"Actually, yeah." Oikawa says. "At this point, I don't care. I don't care if she believes that I like her. I just want us to be friends again."

Kuroo sighs. "Look, I don't know how to help you out. I come first as Fukui's friend before you, and what she thinks is what I'd stand by."

"But, since you're more of a mess than I had ever expected my cousin can ever bring to you, I'll help you out."

***

So this was his way of helping out.

Kuroo was packing a day's worth of clothes into his backpack, "Look. All you have to do is start a video chat with her, apologize for being a dick, and then bam. Everything's back to normal. That's what you wanted, right?"

Oikawa nods wordlessly.

"Good.  Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be staying back at home for the night. Take your time." He looks back at Oikawa and grimaces. "- and at least look somewhat okay before talking to her."

And now here he is, much to his predicament. Sitting alone in the dorm, finger hovering over the call button. He already showered, brushed his hair and dressed in his comfy clothes. His eyes still feel heavy. God, last time he got into a call, he nearly had a panic attack on the spot.

He hasn't called her since the bombardment of calls and messages from the last video chat. It all went straight to voicemail, and he assumed that she must've turned her phone off.

Perhaps this was just another failed attempt of reaching her. Perhaps she still has her phone off - or just outright decline the call. His fingers shake as he takes up the courage to call.

Never, had a girl in the world affected Oikawa deeply as much as  Fukui Umeko did.

He resorts to Plan B: Text message her instead.

It took him a couple of deep breaths before he pressed send.

Three...

Two...

One...

It sends a short message: I'm sorry.

He can only wait now... He stays still on his seat for a while, eyeing the message bubble he sent. It felt somehow lighter, the heaviness in him - even without her reply. He supposes that was enough for the day. Drained, he puts the phone on sleep and lays back down in bed. An attempt was made. It's okay. He did okay. His eyes close and he falls asleep.

However, the pillow under him buzzed. Muffled ringing.

Fukui is calling.