so this is the rant i was debating whether i should write about today.
but i'm gonna start with something else since this drama started up again today.
thank ZEUS it doesn't involve me because zuzu would've gone off at this point. bitch.
anyway.
so basically this girl was planning to kiss this guy that she knew my friend used to like in front of my friend and get her reaction. there's a whole story behind it but tbh i'm really not about to get into it all because it's all over now or so i hope.
anyway i'm just mad because my friend that told me about all this actually wanted to get her reaction too and it's funny because she's supposed to be that girl's friend and that's called being a horrible friend. if you were the shit you'd make sure the girl didn't react.
but yeah that's so immature and petty and disgusting. and you're really doing this over a boy? it's also funny because my friend don't even like the boy anymore hahaha , she said she wouldn't care but she says that a lot when she gives a lot of fucks in reality.
but anyway i couldn't HELP but give a stank face when i saw the girl planning all this stuff because that's such a fucking NASTY thing to do to anyone. and if you're gonna do something petty, cut out the boy please.
ya ya ya all that happened
onto river and all this spirituality stuff.
so i know river is dead. i know that. it's always very striking that he's dead. even when you're happy and smiling at him in movies, in the back of my head it always comes to me that he's dead. tbh i think that happens to all river phoenix fans.
unlike with corey haim, it's very obvious that river is dead. with corey haim it's not that you think he might be cooking a meal or doing laundry, you just think he's still living. and it takes me a while to remember, "oh right, he passed too." corey's whole happy get up makes it seem like he's still here being "happy". no one really loved corey, nobody was there for him. around the time of his death, he had no friends and no money. it's hard to go from a hollywood legend to a friendless "fat lesbian"( as the ugly reporters called him (( he gained some weight, but to call someone who has been through SO much and has achieved so much a "fat lesbian" is horrific )) )
with river i think it's so clear every time i see him or think of him because his death was so untimely ( just like corey's ) and his death had NOTHING to do with his personality at all. he died of drug induced heart failure, and that does not sound like river.
i don't know river phoenix & i wouldn't want to know him even while he was alive because the loss would be too great. that's the only reason why.
but every time i talk to someone about river phoenix, and they ask how he died and i say drug abuse, they are turned off immediately.
yes, river did choose to do drugs. but that shouldn't block your views on him as a person. like i told my friend that he died of drugs and she was so happy with how cute he is and then afterwards when i told her that he died of drugs, she looked absolutely disgusted.
and i was angry because drugs don't make a person. yeah they can change your personality and who you are but it does not change who you were before you started using drugs.
river, as i can see from his work, interviews and just his entire character ( even the way he walks ) , is very wholesome. i say "is" because just because someone is dead it doesn't erase them. say i am a bubbly, fun person, and then i pass. am i no longer a bubbly, fun person ? am i now stone hearted and cold because i'm dead? is my bubbliness now just a was ?
