i am a children but i hate kids my age.
if you're fourteen and under, you are a kid. i don't care if you're a teenager, you're still a fucking child. no matter how mature you can be there's always one spot where you just don't know how to fucking act.
like when kids say things that are actually really hurtful and that they know are rude but still say them in attempt to be funny. or when kids poke fun at other peoples' outward appearances not knowing how insecure it can make someone. i can take a lot. and when i say a lot, i mean a lot. you could call me the ugliest bitch in the world to my face and i'd be like "okay i still don't give a shit what you think because you're pretty ugly on the inside."
but when you're repeatedly fucking joking about my hair and my eyebrows, that shit is painful. especially when it's everyday and there's seemingly something new that's wrong with me - and it's the same three people cracking jokes about it. i don't like that. don't take something that i was perfectly fine with (or who anybody else was insecure with) and call me out for that. i cannOT CONFUCKINGTROL IT. MIND YOUR BUSINESS.
people always talk about "mind your own business keep to yourself", yet never fucking do it themselves. like they'll keep to themselves in the midst of petty drama but the minute they see the opportunity to make another kid feel insecure, there goes the whole "mind your own business" bullshit.
and i just love the one kid who sits next to me who still doesn't know whether he's a blood or a crip and switches bandanas everyday with his fuck ass :)). i absolutely adore how he manages to mock me every single day for something new almost every five fucking minutes and come at me WHEN I WAS NEVER TALKING TO HIM.
and we'll call him joshua because remember how in #rantable, i said that i never use people's real names when i'm talking about them spitefully unless i really fucking hate them? lol this is one of those moments, his name is joshua.
so joshua over here has these cute little comments to give to me everyday, whether it be about my hair, what i'm talking about, how i'm talking about it, etc etc. things that have nothing to do with him, he'll jump in on and give his annoying, irritating input. so today i said to joshua,
"you know what joshua? you're a very angry person, and i think you should honestly put your angry thoughts in a journal."
he goes,
"i'm not angry i'm never angry."
and i was using the wrong term, i really was. so i corrected myself and said,
"you're a very negative person. you should put your negative thoughts in a journal. if you don't like me and my appearance so much then why do you continuously comment on everything i do and say when it has nothing to do with you? if you don't like me and if you think i'm ugly, pay no mind to me, it will make your day so much better."
and he was clearly thinking i was right because he lowkey stopped talking to interrupt me :). works all the fucking time.
oh and the same lil bitch that was talking about my hair today? LOL , he tried to touch it WHILE HE WAS TALKING SHIT ABOUT IT.
now in real life, zuzu never gets mad. and when i get mad, it's BAD. like even if i'm "mad", i might go off on someone or i might act differently. but that's when i'm not super mad so i haven't blown up or anything. tODAY I BLEW. UP.
because first of all, how in THE FUCK. are you going to try and put your stubby ass fucking fingers IN MY FUCKING HAIR while you're talking about "look how nappy ya hair is." while being a fucking black no mixed lil boy who's momma is black?
i don't rock with that at all whatsoever. so look i slammed his hand into the window. MY ARM JUST FLEW UP. WITH FORCE. like i really slammed that bitch arm with everything, and it was like a reflex like i really wasn't even gonna touch him anyway bc i don't touch trash without gloves on, but the minute my brain told me: hey look he's about to touch your hair while he's talking about how nappy it is!!, i fuckin snapped.
i go,
"don't fucking touch me. don't touch my hair. don't put your dirty fucking fingers in my hair. do not fucking touch my hair. if you fucking touch me on god i will beat your ass."
then i let his arm go & EVERYONE AROUND ME WAS JUST LIKE "...yo wtf?"
bc like i said, zuzu never gets mad. whenever these fuckin pendejos ( girl who loves telling me my ON FLEEK eyebrows look bad when her's look like two little worms, boy who thinks im all the things bad in the world yet STILL runs his mouth & im the only thing in it ) make fun of me i lowkey laugh. but today i hIGHKEY ALMOST STARTED CRYING. and i'm thinkin that's bc of the amount of sleep i got bc zuzu doesn't cry over that silly fuckery.
but even then, when i'm tired and someone fucks with me, if i feel like i'm about to cry, that's where you went wrong. you took a wrong turn, took that right where you were supposed to take a sharp left. you drove off the cliff. you drove your car into the water like some dangerous shit like that.
i do not cry over what people think of me. i truly do not give a fuck. so you can tell it's bad and that it happens too often when i legitimately feel like i'm going to cry over what some ignorant, inner ugly, fuckass, talentless, creativity lacking whores think of me.
but anyway i'm proud of what i did to joshua because that puto deserved it anyways and i highkey hope i caused him permanent pain in his arm.
#zuzaf
#zuzaf
