In too deep -Depression and selfharm

Suicide

You come home form school one day ,

You've had yet another horrible day.

Youre just ready to give up .

So you go to your room

close the door

and take out the suicide note you've written and rewritten over and over and  over.

You take out those razor blades ,and cut for the very last time.

You grab that bottle of pills and take them all.

laying down ,holding the letter to your chest

you close your eyes for the very last time

a few hours later ,your little brother knocks on your door to tell you that dinners ready

you don't anwer,

so he walks in.

All he sees is you laying on the bed ,so he thinks your asleep.

He tells your mum this

your mum goes too your room to wake you up.

she notices something odd

she grabs the paper in your hand an reads It.

sobbing ,she tries to wake you up

shes screming our name

your brother is so confused.

Runs to go tell your dad that

"Mummy is crying and sissy wont wake up "

your dad runs into your room

he looks at your mum ,crying

holding the letter to her chest,sitting next to your lifeless body.

it hits him.

Whats going on?

and he screams

He screams and throws something onto the wall.

and then, falling to his knees he starts to cry.

Your mum crawls over to him

and they sit their holding each other ,crying.

The next day thiers an announcement.

The principle tells everyone about your suicide.

It taks a few seconds to sink in and once It does

everyone goes silent .

They all blame themselves for what happened.

Your teachers think that they were too hard on you,

those popular girls, they think of all the things the said to you.

That boy that used to tease you and call you names ,he cant help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are.

Your ex boyfriend ,the one that you told everything too, that broke up with you

he cant handle it ,He breaks down and starts crying and runs out the door.

Your friends sit there and wonder how they could never see that anything was wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late .

And your bestfriend?

shes in shock.

She cant believe it.

She knew what you were going through ,but she never thought I would get that bad ...........

Bad enough for you to end it all.

She cant cry ,she cant feel anything.

She stands up,walks out of the classroom

and just sinks to the floor.

Shaking and screaming but no tears come out.

Its a few days latter and  your little brother still doesn't know what happened

hes to young

your parents just said that you died

it hurts him,a lot.

You were his big sister ,you were surposed  to always be their for him.

Your bestfrined ,she stays stong during the entre survice

but as soon as they start to lower the casket into the ground

she just loses it.

She cries and cries and doesn't stop for days.

Its three  years later ,

The whole school talks to a counselor

Your teachers?

all quit their job

Your ex boyfriend?

doesn't know how to love anymore and just sleeps with girls .

Your friends?

all go into depression,

Your bestfriend?

She tries to kill herself, she didn't succeed like you did ,but she tried

Your brother

He finally found out about your death .He self harms ,he cries at night ,He does exactly what you did for years leading up to you suicide.

Your parents?

Their marriage fell apart .Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death

Your mum?

got diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day .

Their life's changed as you changed yours.