Change of Plans

32|Letters

Saturday, February 25th

I sort through the mail in my hands until I settle my eyes on four large envelopes.

Yale
UCLA
U of U
Juilliard

My stomach bubbles with nervousness. Should I just open them? Maybe I won't and I'll ditch college all together and become a drug dealer. Or maybe I'll open all of them, and only tell people the ones they already knew I would get into like U of U. Perfect plan. Then nobody has to know that I'm a failure. What if all my studying, practice, and hard work was for nothing? What if I set my hopes too high?

I ignore my negative thoughts and run up to my room, locking the door behind me.

I set the newly acquired envelopes on my bed and gather the other one I have received the last couple of days. I add Harvard to the pile on my bed and take several deep breaths. I wanted to wait until I had all of them so I could open them at the same time. That was either a very stupid or very clever decision. I have yet to decide.

Don't sweat it, you're fine.

My palms sweat as I reach for the first envelope, UCLA. As neatly as I can, I open the envelope and slide the white, tri-folded paper out.

Dear Harper Jones,
Congratulations! It is our great pleasure to offer you admission into UCLA.

My heart thumps in my chest and I don't read any further. The smile on my face grows as I read the word congratulations over and over again.

Eventually, I set the letter down and move on to the next one. The smile on my face is quickly wiped away before I open the second envelope. Just because I got into one college, doesn't mean I'll continue with the same success.

After reading another 'congratulations Harper' from U of U I can't stop the giddy feeling that fills my chest. My big smile won't leave my face but I decide to take a break as I've opened half of the letters already. I'll wait until the afternoon to finish opening them.

Yale
Harvard
Juilliard

The ones I'm actually nervous for I'll wait to open. Save the best for last right?

As the time is only 11:30 in the morning, I decide to take a trip downstairs to tell my mom the news.

"Mom? Are you home?" I call as I shuffle down the stairs.

"What do you need sweets? " I hear her voice echo. She must have come back from the store already. When I finally see her sitting at the kitchen bar, a huge grin breaks out on my lips.

"I was just opening up letters from colleges upstairs," My moms eyes light up at the news and she turns her head towards me. "I got into UCLA, and U of U." I say with my lips only moving closer to my eyes. At this point I don't think I can see too clearly.

"Harper!" My mom exclaims as she hops off of her stool and wraps her arms around me. "That's amazing honey." She let's go and looks me straight in the eyes. "What about the Ivy leagues? Have you heard anything from them?" She asks tentatively, not wanting to cut open a wound.

"I have the letters upstairs. I," I pause. "I'm afraid." I confess as a film of tears coats my eyes. "What if I get rejected?" I shake the tears away.

My mother nods her head knowingly and cups my cheek. I lean into her motherly hand and sigh. I look away from her eyes and onto the floor.